Q: I’ve known this girl for about 4 months now.

I asked her out after about a month of knowing her (didn’t really know her THAT well at the time) and she said she just wanted to be friends.

We slowly hung out less after that for about a month but over the last month we’ve basically been inseparable. We have dinner together a lot and we spend a lot of time together even if it’s just doing nothing. I haven’t gone a day without seeing her for so long I can’t remember. We spend more time together than my friends spend with their steady girl friends.

We have these awesome conversations when we’re together at dinner (3 hours+) and it seems like we’re never short of conversation. Lately the conversations have gotten a lot deeper. We’ve talked about past relationships, the future, what we’re looking for in a bf/gf, etc. I feel an awesome connection with this girl. It’s like we just get each other. I don’t feel like there’s any pressure to impress.

Everything is just comfortable and easy.

I want to tell her that I really like her but I’m worried about losing what’s become a really great friend at the same time.

Should I just tell or should I let things play out? I’ve already put myself out there once so I don’t know if I should do it again or not. But now we have this great connection that wasn’t there the first time.

I can’t stop thinking about her and I feel like not telling her is driving me crazy.

What should I do?

A: Holy crap don’t be stupid!

NOOOOOOOOOO!

Is it too late? Did you scare the girl away yet? I hope there’s time to save this disaster…

First, learn something about ATTRACTION ( link )

Women respond to who you’re BEING, not what you’re saying. So stop thinking, and start feeling.

I understand what’s happening… you’re feeling insecure, and nervous, and tense. This is because you THINK she feels the same way, and you THINK that talking about things will ease the tension. The problem is that TENSION is ATTRACTION. As soon as you try using LOGIC with her you’ll f*** it all up.

She doesn’t care what you THINK. She only cares what she FEELS.

Pay attention and read the above line again, because this is no joke.

When it comes to “getting the girl” it’s ALL about how she FEELS. If you screw things up with TALKING she’ll stop feeling uncertain and attracted, and she’ll start feeling bored and unattracted.

If you spill your guts she’ll feel that you’re not the kind of man she can lean up simply because you’re not even man enough to handle a little uncertainty.

I speak from experience. I’ve made that mistake. It’s what lame guys do to feel better. Don’t do it.

Instead read this and follow my advice carefully – link

It’s not about talking with her, it’s about BEING with her. Take the actions I describe in my above link and she’ll either crumble at your feet, or become even closer friends with you.

Best of luck man!

~ Robby

Today’s AWESOME thumbnail is by this AWESOME photographer.

Q: Guys… do you always want the girl to make the first move?

I want to know why guys don’t make the moves anymore?

A: We’re living in a time of feminized boys - men who have no proper tribal leadership from their absent fathers, and so are left feeling helpless, nervous, and lacking masculine power.

It’s unfortunate and sad really.

If you’re a masculine women (I don’t mean a manly woman) then you’ll feel very comfortable leading a man, taking him by the hand, and getting what you want.

But from my experience most women prefer being very feminine, while I prefer being very masculine.

There are still plenty of men out there who are willing to step up and be MEN, but you’ll just have to look harder.

To all the boys out there who don’t know how to find their masculine energy, read anything written by David Deida ( link )

~ Robby

Why do today's super models all seem to approximate the physique of adolescent boys?

Do all Abercrombie and Fitch models seem gay?

Q: I What do women find most attractive in a guy, what catches her eye or what would she like her guy to be doing?

A: Getting the girl isn’t about what you’re doing, or what you’re saying – it’s about who you’re BEING.

Be fun, be honest, be sincere, have your own opinion (especially if she disagrees with it) and you’ll discover women will suddenly start noticing you.

If you want to get a woman hooked on you then you must learn to make her “feel” things – if you’re boring, bland, or overly agreeable, you’ll be easily forgotten as a friend. But if you invoke an emotional reaction within her, she’ll be thinking about you all night (even if she’s mad at you.)

Make her laugh and she’ll FEEL.

Make her mad and she’ll FEEL.

It’s really all the same.

Once she’s mad or glad, then turn around and suddenly be sincere, sweet and insightful.

Flirting is all about teasing and tension – the art of making her FEEL you.

~ Robby

Today’s top Thumbnail is from this photographer.

Q: Hi, I’m early twenties and just had my first long term relationship break up.

I’m so puzzled by my ex’s reaction I’m now thinking maybe she is the norm and I am feeling hard done by when I shouldn’t be.

I was seeing my ex for just over 18 months, we’d talked about our future etc, and I thought everything was OK and we were reasonably solid. Looking back the week before the break up something wasn’t right but I didn’t expect her to call it a day as there was no mention / talk of being unhappy, I just went along as normal – hindsight is a wonderful thing.

We were at my flat, just hanging out as usual as she’d been staying over for a few days, made dinner that night and ate together. No mention of nothing. Then she went home and she phoned me the next day and said she was unhappy.

We spoke for 15 mins and she didn’t say anything but she has realized she is unhappy and its over. In the space of 24 hours I’d gone from waking up in bed, eating breakfast etc with a long term partner to its over with a brief phone call.

That’s the last I heard from her.

She text’d me later that night saying, “I hope we can be friends when we are over this.”

I thought she’d contact me again but she never did.

I emailed her a week later saying hey, I feel I deserve a bit more of an explanation than “I’ve suddenly realized I’m unhappy ,” and she emailed back, “why are you emailing me? I’m not speaking about this, I couldn’t be more clear.” ( I then found out she was slept with a guy the following weekend) Would that explain the harsh reaction to my email? Or was it me who was wrong to email?

I don’t understand her reaction, I thought she cared about me at least a little bit.

I was with her for 2 years and in the space of a week we had gone from sleeping in the same bed to complete strangers. Or is that how all break ups are? It’s sort of my first. I feel a bit hard done by.

Or am I being to sensitive and that is just a break up? I’ve never had anything to compare it too, but it felt a bit harsh to me.

A:Sorry to hear about your experience… that girl was HARSH!

This isn’t the norm, and I applaud your reaction to the whole thing. Don’t become that angry jaded guy who’s suddenly scared to commit, or who’s prematurely pulling the trigger when each new woman has signs of disinterest. Most guys would have flipped out, but you sound like a really solid guy with a good head on his shoulders.

Keep up the good work.

Her reason for being harsh is likely that she doesn’t want you reminding her that she was wrong to leave you hanging without an explanation.

I guarantee she was already sleeping with this other guy, and was feeling guilty about it.

I also guarantee she was this rude because you spent the relationship allowing her to be rude.

“We teach others how to treat us.”

Learn what you can from this painful experience, and use it to improve all future relationships.

I suspect you allowed her to walk all over you, or that you were at least very passive through out the relationship.

Women aren’t rude to men they respect, and if she doesn’t respect you then you likely taught her through your lack of relationship boundaries.

But, who knows, I’m often wrong. Feel bad about the breakup but don’t feel about your role. Break-ups are supposed to be awkward and upsetting.

The easiest way to forget about an ex is to meet someone new worth getting to know.

Thanks for the email and best of luck man!

~ Robby

Q: My ex girlfriend (which I still love) is CLEARLY going out of her way to make me jealous.

She always tells me about how much she likes and cares about her new guy. She then tells me she misses me heaps.

I figured she is telling me this to see if I still like her by being jealous but I’m just pretending as if I don’t care and I’m fine with the whole thing.

The truth is I really want her back, but should I continue pretending I don’t care or should I try to show her that I still care about her and how should I do that?

PLEASE HELP!

A: This girl is currently your greatest teacher.

She is bringing you something few others will – a lesson in self-mastery.

Take this time to get over your jealousy issues.

How you learn to deal with jealousy early in your life will greatly dictate how great your masculine power will be expressed later in life.

For the record, you’re doing the right thing – ignore her obvious attempts at goading you on. Just be sure that when you’re dealing with the emotions that bring you anger and jealousy (when you’re alone thinking about her with other guys) that you let them flow right through you without leaving a trace.

Let the feelings come and go, without fighting them, and without losing your cool.

This will prepare you for life’s greater challenges.

Here’s a secret women don’t want you to know: They all want to end up with a guy they feel is better then themselves.

She’s not going to desire you if you’re the jealous type.

She’s not going to think you’re awesome if you don’t keep your cool.

Always have composure, even if you’re dying inside.

What was my point?

Let the next girl help you forget your ex.

Oh ya, date someone else.

Then it’s a WIN!

~ Robby

Q: We’ve been together 3 month and last night I ended up in a friends house who happened to be an ex, and we kissed, should I tell my girlfriend ?

Or should I keep it from her to avoid hurting her as she’s never going to find out. (Male – Age: 18-24)

A:Well you made a childish/selfish mistake. So don’t make another one!

Telling the girlfriend about your mistake IS NOT the answer.

Why?

Because all it does is make you feel better, and make her feel worse.

We tend to unburden ourselves on the one’s we love simply because we’re trying to unload our feelings of guilt… and in some occasions this makes relationships stronger… but not in this case.

There’s nothing that can be done now.

It was a mistake that you regret, and that you will never do again (right!?) So be a man, live with your guilt, and don’t burden her with your baggage. These are the mistakes that help lift you up from boy to man, so take special NOTE and never allow yourself to become so selfish again – especially when you’re committed to someone else.

Keep it to yourself, and move on.

Regret your actions, but then forgive yourself and move on!

Best of luck,

~ Robby

Q: Robby, I read some of your articles and I thought they were full of great advice.

In your article about how to get a girl you mention some great tips about attracting women. I am currently a virgin, never-kissed-a-girl, dateless guy, and I am wondering how I can change that.

I also wanted to know if you had any advice on how to not be the “stinky guy on the buss who can’t smell himself” because I think that I am that guy too. People seem to be coughing around me when I enter a room. If you could give me any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks,

Jake

A: Jake, I’ll give you some quick advice based on what I’m picking up on from your email…

The secret to dating beautiful women?

Being social.

It’s that easy.

Any guy who’s learned to be highly social has discovered a secret that shy guy’s don’t understand – not only does nothing bad happen when a girl isn’t interested in talking with you, but it’s not really that hard to change her mind if you really want to.

Talk to any “natural” or any guy who’s AMAZING with women, and you’ll discover that ALL share something in common. Know what it is?

They’re all willing to chit-chat with anyone and most often they do.

I did this as a kid and I learned that people LOVE to socialize.

My problem was that when puberty hit I developed terrible acne for years, which made me pull back in on myself – and not until I got divorced did I reunite with my love for people.

SIDE-TOPIC: INNER GAME

If your MIND is your Garden, then the THOUGHTS and BELIEFS that you plant and nurture will grow as an expression of yourself. If you allow negative thoughts to hang around (“I’m too skinny… girls like big guys”) then your expression of yourself will be “I’m too skinny.”

That might mean that you over-eat causing yourself to get flabby and unhealthy. You might wear clothes that are too big so that you can hide your ribs. You might express poor body posture because you’re unconsciously trying to hide your body under your clothes. You’d be amazed at how these types of thoughts become expressed outwardly, but make no mistake… women NOTICE these expressions.

Women can FEEL how you FEEL because they’re empathic.

Tend to your garden.

Plant more fruit, and pull more weeds.

A simple exercise, when you’re willing to do it, is to write down the “weeds” of your beliefs… make a list of things you think about yourself that likely hinders your self-esteem. Then take a red pen, cross them out (like erasing them from reality) and rewrite them to become more empowering.

(I’ve included an example JPG.)

Shy guys suffer from ego problems… they’re so protective of their ego’s that they refuse to risk bruising it through social interactions.

This is sad really.

If you’re too shy to talk to women it usually means you’re too shy to talk to everyone.

The best steps to overcome this is to study books on the human ego, and to practice socializing with every human you meet… talk to the old man behind you, talk to the cashier, and go online and talk with people via social networking.

NEXT STEPS

The next reason guys don’t meet more women is that they don’t escalate with the women they DO meet.

No matter how much a woman likes you, she’s not going to make the first move.

Or the second.

Or the third.

It’s your job as a man to LEAD her from the street to the bedroom, to the alter.

YOU.

MUST.

LEAD.

This means that every time you meet a girl worth getting to know you MUST make a date (don’t worry about getting her number, go straight to a meet-up.) Memorize a default line like this, “You know what? You’re fun! I know this cute little dessert place, let’s grab a coffee there tomorrow night at 6.”

If she says, “no thanks,” then simply say, “Ha! Fair enough.”

When you’re on a date it’s your job to kiss her mid-date (don’t wait till the end) right after she’s laughed hard at your lame joke. If you wait more then two dates to kiss her, then she’ll lose interest, and you’ll become over whelmed by the pressure. When you do nothing, you end up in the friends zone – the purgatory for men who refused to take action.

“He who hesitates masturbates.”

Nothing will teach you more about women then social experience.

You must force your body to experience interactions with women before you’ll get good at it.

I’ve said too much.

Keep me updated on your progress!

~ Robby

P.S. As for your problem with the coughing? It’s most likely that you either don’t shower enough or that you’re overly sensitive about how you smell which is causing you to wear TOO MUCH cologne. Stop wearing cologne for a few weeks and see if that makes any difference. This includes body sprays.

I love the questions guys, please keep them coming!

~ Robby

Today’s above thumbnail photo is from This Photographer.

How To Turn A Friend Into Your Girlfriend – By David Kwan

“Women are programmed to DESPISE weak men. The most important female need is to feel SAFE, and a weak man is never going to be able to make her feel this way.”

eSeduce.com

How to Avoid the Friend Zone – David DeAngelo

“You’ve met a woman you think might be “The One” but she tells you that she’s not feeling anything “romantic” with you. Learn the one secret to what it takes to have her “feel it” for you and what to AVOID doing, so you’re not stuck in the “friend zone” over and over with exceptional women.”

DoubleYourDating.com

How to Turn a Woman from Friend to Lover

“Some women keep you as a friend because you’ve been too scared to make your romantic interest known, or you’ve made a bunch of bonehead mistakes, and alienated her (at least temporarily) from being romantic. Perhaps you’ve made fart jokes, said callous things, or treated her like a buddy; nothing too serious. These are women you’ve got a shot at changing into lovers.”

SoSuave.com

How To Seduce Her From “Friend” To “Lover” In 5 Steps Or Less. – Written by me.

“In almost every scenario you end up rejected, embarrassed, or suppressed.

What’s the best way to move forward?

Well I finally have the answer and it only took me 10 years to figure it out. Hopefully you’ll be wise enough to pay attention to my timely advice.”

fullofhateandreadytodate.com

http://www.getoutofthefriendzone.com/

“So you’re good friends with a woman, but over time developed feelings for her. Now you’re wondering what you can do to get her to like you and accomplish the unthinkable: get out of the friend zone.”

getoutofthefriendzone.com

Sex in the news is the kind of news I like.

58-Year-Old Dude Met Women Online Then Cheated Them Out Of $200,000 – Found Guilty

“The 58-year-old trolled dating sites such as Match.com and Plentyoffish.com looking for victims over a nearly three-year period from July 2005 to March 2008, District Attorney Janet DiFiore said.”

LoHud.com

Black Guys Like White Chicks?

“Most of us either know Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson as an NFL star or a toe-tapper on “Dancing With The Stars.” But Ochocinco’s most recent role has been as pasha to his very own harem of women on the VH1 reality dating show “Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch.” The star has caught some flack recently for only choosing two black women on the show from an array of beauties.”

www.thefrisky.com

Vatican makes attempted ordination of women a grave crime

“The Vatican today made the “attempted ordination” of women one of the gravest crimes under church law, putting it in the same category as clerical sex abuse of minors, heresy and schism.”

www.guardian.co.uk

Kayden Nguyen v. Steven Seagal (PICTURES): $1M Sex Harassment Suit Dismissed

“Nguyen had claimed that on three occasions Seagal ‘sexually assaulted’ her with unwanted contact and groping at a Louisiana home where the actor and his family were staying. She accused Seagal of trapping her as a personal ‘sex toy.’”

cbsnews.com

New Men’s Health Book: Built For Sex

“All the cutting–edge advice for getting the body you need to get the mindblowing sex you want comes to you in Built for Sex.”

menshealth.com

I LOVE science. I LOVE sex. Here’s where the two meet.

There just might be a genetic switch that makes women like men… or women!

“A GENE has been discovered that appears to dictate the sexual preferences of female mice. Delete the gene and the modified mice reject the advances of the males and attempt to mate with other females instead.”

NewScientist.com

When do boys learn to be men?

“The differences in mothers’ and fathers’ interactions with their children, particularly in play situations, may influence toddlers’ associations of specific behaviors with male and female genders. According to Eric Lindsey from Penn State Berks in the US, and his colleagues, context, gender of the parent and gender of the child combine in a complex pattern to shape parent-child interaction.”

ScienceDaily.com

Female touch can influence decisions, behaviour – study

“A simple pat on the back of the shoulder by a female in a way that connotes support may evoke feelings that are similar to the sense of security afforded by a mother’s comforting touch in infancy,” they wrote in the study.”

REUTERS.com

Evolutionary Hide & Seek: Species Avoids Extinction By Abstaining from Sex for 30 Million Years

“They haven’t had sex in some 30 million years, but some very small invertebrates named bdelloid rotifers should have gone extinct long ago. Cornell researchers have discovered the secret to their evolutionary longevity: they are microscopic escape artists.”

DailyGalaxy.com

It’s fun to watch people Flirt … even when talking about Science.

“When Brendon and Rachel discuss their respective science backgrounds, it morphs into some weird verbal foreplay that leads Rachel to say she “just fell in love” in the ’Big Brother’ (Sun., 8PM ET on CBS) house.”

tvSquad.com

I recently came across this girl’s question – she wants to know how to get that one guy who’s ignoring her. Here’s what you should notice:

1) She considers herself to be pretty good looking and is often chased by guys.

2) She met a guy who doesn’t chase her and who isn’t all that interested. (He’s different.)

3) Even though her friends think she’s crazy she’s now wanting to know how to get him.

Q: I want a second date with a guy who has made it clear he doesn’t want to see me again.

What do I do? (Female – Age: 25-29)

We had an OK first date, he was very full on, but we spoke allot on the phone first for ten hours a night. I think he had a really good time, but is afraid to get involved with someone his intellectual inferior. I know we had chemistry, there were sparks all over the place. I don’t want to sound big headed, but I’m good looking and I have plenty of people ask me out, chase me and want to be with me. I haven’t ever had a guy who didn’t want to see me again, I’m nice decent person and people like spending time with me.

I have never felt like this before, I’m literally obsessed with him, everything about him I’m a hair away from full on stalker domain. I just know that if he let it, we could have something really amazing. My friends think I’ve literally lost it, he’s not classically good-looking, he’s was not polite to one of my friends, he was rude and pushy at times, I shouldn’t want him, think about him. they’ve never seen me like this before and they can’t help, they seem bemused by my behaviour, quite frankly so am I, but I can’t have been the only one in this predicament? I need help.

A: Here’s your problem… you’re letting your emotions dictate your decisions.

Here’s what’s happening…

You = Good Looking Girl who’s bored of the dudes putting you on pedestals (chasing and complimenting you) because it’s predictable and all the same.

This Dude = Doesn’t do what every other guy is doing, therefore he seems “different.”

So you take a moment to try to “figure out” why he’s acting different. Perhaps you ask yourself things like, “Why isn’t he all over me like most guys? Why isn’t he chasing me like most guys? Did my hair look bad that day? Was it something I said? I NEED to figure this out…” And so you’re confused with this puzzle, but also kinda excited to be challenged with something new to think about.

You spend time thinking about this guy simply because you’re trying to solve this puzzle.

Then you notice you’ve been thinking about this guy a lot. But what you forget is that you’re trying to solve this puzzle. Instead your brain says, “Wow, I must really like this guy if I’ve been thinking about him so much! He must be very different than all the other guys!”

Your ego says, “I’m an amazing girl, there’s NOW WAY he wouldn’t want me.. he just needs more time to get to know me.”

This is the part of yourself that NEEDS his approval. Why? Because you’ve gotten everyone else’s approval and so you’ve linked a NEED to always having it.

1) Don’t chase a guy who doesn’t want you. This will slowly erode your self esteem, your pride, and will ultimately amp up your neediness. This will push him away even more. Stalking doesn’t work.

2) Realize that you’re an amazing woman who DOESN’T need anyone’s approval to FEEL good about yourself. So stop chasing his approval.

3) Learn something about yourself from this before you make it a habit of chasing dudes who treat you negatively.

Good lucky shorty,

~ Robby

Q: Her response:

Thank you, for many reasons I agree with you and I can in no way dispute anything you say. Yet for some reason I have a feeling that I will not meet a better fit, which is crazy as I don’t know him, but I miss him.
When the date was over I was happy, relieved somewhat, and then almost immediately I missed him? I text him straight away, something silly, I never text I definitely don’t text men I have been on one date with I barely ever reply, I despise the medium.

A: I wish more guys would pay attention to what you’re saying…

it’s not about the “logic or reason” .. it’s about how you FEEL as a woman that tends to dictate your decisions.

Unfortunately your emotions are misguiding you. Just like my emotions misguided me into eating too much pizza and not enough veggies. Your mistake is assuming how good it will FEEL to be with him.

The truth is that you have no real reference to how he is long-term.

Save yourself and let him go.

~ Robby

Today’s above thumbnail photo is from This Photographer.

Today I recommend “The Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida. This is my most recommended book for guys who are trying to either figure out why their girlfriend is so distant, or for guys who can’t seem to get their acts together.

In this book David Deida explains some of the strangest behaviors of women, and how we guys should behave to turn things around in our relationships. It’s mostly about how to be a man, and how being manly naturally draws feminine women towards us. Fantastic right?

Read it now.

~ Robby