In Part 1 of this blog, I described a night at a sushi restaurant with a client at which he learned the power of opening a woman with many short conversations. In Part 2 of this blog, I go on to explain why you will have no problem closing a woman once you have mastered the skill of being able to successfully open her.

Enjoy Part II, and learning how to use your new powerful opening skills to master the art of closing a woman . . .

To Be Able To Close A Woman . . .

You Must First Know How To Open Her – Part 2

The whole point of learning how to open a woman this way is so that you will become the opposite of every other guy. In order to close a woman, then, you also need to be different than other guys by closing her in very small doses.

Once you have had that fourth or fifth conversation with a woman in a bar, restaurant or coffee shop, all of a sudden what happens is that you will easily be able to say to her “Wow, I really enjoyed talking to you.” She’ll say “I really enjoyed talking to you too. Let’s get together and talk about x, y and z again.”

What you’ve done is breed familiarity and comfort . . . but you’ve done it very differently. What you need to understand about women is that they are into any kind of foreplay – be it emotional foreplay, mental foreplay or physical foreplay.

What most guys do is they smother.

The minute they go over to talk to a woman, they smother her. Every time they smother a woman, that woman becomes less and less interested.

Beyond not smothering, mastering the power of walking away (which I discuss in great detail in one of my other blogs) more than anything else will leave women wondering about you. Women will be wondering: “Who is that guy? Why did he walk away? Guys never walk away from me. Most guys smother me.”

So you see the difference. Beyond how well it works, doing this will help you be more comfortable. I tell every single guy that in order to close a woman, you need to do it in stages of 15 second, 30 second and 45 second conversations . . . and then you’ll be into a full-blown conversation.

This in fact is exactly what happened when my client and I were in a supermarket last night. We saw a woman who was coming toward me with her cart.

I looked at her and said something very funny: “Don’t you go hitting me with that cart!” I was teasing and being very playful. She laughed . . . and then I walked away from her.

After saying what I said to her, most guys would have immediately gone in and performed some kind of a routine on her and smothered her. I walked away, because when you do that women will chase you.

Soon after that when we were in the vegetable department, that same woman started coming toward us. She was hesitating and looking around, and I picked up on her body clues. Her body signs clearly revealed that she was lingering – she was not buying anything, she didn’t have a plastic bag in her hand and she was not even looking at anything. She was lingering.

She was sort of staring at the mushrooms, but she wasn’t going to buy the mushrooms. So what did I do? I made an observation.

As I watched her lingering I said “Are you going to be cooking those mushrooms tonight?” She starts smiling and says “No! I don’t know what I want. I’m probably just going to get a plastic container of food.” I said “I always get the plastic container of food.”

Then we started talking about cooking, about how I bought the George Foreman Grill, and how she had a George Foreman Grill. That led to me hearing her accent, and I asked her where she was from. When she said she was from Memphis, I told her I was going to be traveling to Memphis in a few days. The next thing you know we were talking all about Memphis.

What I did next was close her by telling her “Wow, I’d like to learn more about Memphis. I’d also love you to come and talk to some of the guys (she was a fashion consultant).” As you can see, this all happens in stages.

The first time is just laying the bait. The second time they’ll come back and chase. If you give them 15 seconds of being very confident and then 30 seconds of being very confident, you are going to be different than 99.9% of the guys who are out there.

Every other guy smothers, and smothers, and smothers. You, on the other hand, are being confident. You’re being relaxed. You’re being calm. My client saw the same result happen every time we did this: the women came chasing after us. Most guys don’t understand this.

So closing women in this way is very simple They’re comfortable around you. They’ve had two or three sessions of talking to you. Best of all, you can do this almost anywhere.

If you’re in a bookstore, for example, you can walk by a woman and say “That’s one of my favorite books of all time. You are going to LOVE that book.” Then you walk away. Two minutes later when you next see her in another aisle in the bookstore and she doesn’t have that book in her hand, what you do is become playful with her and say “Where is the book I recommended to you? You’re not going to take my recommendation?”

By doing this you’re being playful. She’ll get defensive and start to defend herself. This will lead things to become more playful. You will start talking with her again and figuring out what book she’s reading. Give her another good 30 to 45 seconds. You can ask her out anytime.

How do you close a woman? You close a woman by bringing her back to the moment you talked to her.

With the woman in the supermarket, you could say something like “You’ve got to give me your number so you can tell me how your dinner turned out.” With the woman in the bookstore, if she bought the book you talked to her about you can say “You’ve got to call me tomorrow to tell me how you liked the book.”

Suppose you want to meet a woman in Blockbuster. How do you open a woman in Blockbuster? Let’s say you see a woman staring at the movie “The Departed,” which you’ve already seen. You walk over and say to her “That’s one of my all-time favorite movies. Have you seen it yet?” If she says no, you tell her a little about the movie . . . then you walk away.

Although you have walked away, you still keep an eye on her. This way you know where she is so you can go back in again. When you go back in, if you notice that she doesn’t have “The Departed” in her hand, you challenge her and say “Where’s ‘The Departed?’ You aren’t renting it?” When she says no, you say “C’mon . . . we’re going to go over and getting it.”

You then take her on a journey. Take her by the hand back to where you first talked to her, put a copy of “The Departed” in her hand and say “You need to watch this. If you don’t like it, I’ll buy you another movie the next time.” She’ll say “OK.”

So how do you close her? You say “Give me your number. I’m going to call you tomorrow and make sure you liked that movie. If you didn’t like that movie, we’ll meet in Blockbuster tomorrow night and I’ll buy you a whole new movie.”

These are just a few ways to open and close women, but no matter how you do it always do it in stages. It’s a two stage process during the daytime, so you get more comfortable. At night you can make it a three or four stage process.

At a coffee shop during the day, you can have a few small conversations before jumping into a big one. It’s a great way to build up your confidence. It’s a great way to make them feel comfortable. When you feel comfortable, you will make her feel comfortable . . . and vice versa.

So the best way to open a woman is to do it in stages. Gather as much information as you can, so that when you close her you can do it with something about which you’ve already been talking.

That way she will look forward to continuing the conversation, because women look forward to continuing a great conversation. That is what women are all about.

You’ve got to learn how to speak their language. If you learn how to speak their language, they’re going to be attracted to you every single time.

~ David

Today’s thumbnail is by this photographer!

To Be Able To Close A Woman . . .

You Must First Know How To Open Her – Part I

This blog was prompted by a question I was recently asked by a client during a coaching session. It’s a question men have asked me countless times: “David, how do I close a woman?” My answer is always the same: To be able to close a woman, you must first know how to open her.

Let’s say you’re in a restaurant – a sushi bar – and there are two women sitting next to where you and your friend are sitting. What most guys will do in this situation is spend the whole night trying to figure out what to say to the woman he finds attractive and how to get into a conversation with her.

Once he does get into that conversation with her, he smothers her. You know, he won’t make it casual and fun.

The key to opening a woman is understanding that you need to give a woman the best 15 to 45 seconds of you . . . and then walk away.

So let’s break down this scene even more, which my client and I happened to be in by the way.

First 30 seconds

He and I were sitting in a sushi bar next to two women who were there enjoying a girls’ night out. So we opened them with casual conversation. We talked about food and about what they were ordering . . . for 30 seconds and that was it.

During that 30 seconds you speak with energy, conviction and confidence by saying something like “Hey that looks good!” or “Can I have a bite of that?” or “What are you getting?” Speak with a confident tone in your voice, not a whiny one.

So what you do is talk to her, then you ignore her. You basically turn around and continue talking to your friend. By doing that, you are building trust. You are building confidence in yourself, because if you can do it for 30 seconds now you will be able to do it for 60 seconds the next time.

Not only that – and this is really the key thing – but by the second and third time you talk to her you have become a familiar face. So then, all of a sudden, you’re not a stranger anymore. She will become very familiar and things with her will become very playful.

Women like things to be playful. That’s what happened that night. When our order arrived, one of the women asked us “What is that?” We said “It’s Yellowtail.” They said “Wow, that looks good!” At that point you can offer them a bite of your Yellowtail.

So by investing only 75¢ for an extra piece of Yellowtail for them, you get the opportunity to talk to them a little bit more about food while keeping things playful and very fun. Maybe you find out a little more about them by asking how many times they have been to that restaurant, or whatever might start the conversation again.

Stay Playful

What happens next – and it’s not important what you say but HOW you say it – is that things stay very playful. They will get something to eat next, and it becomes like a game. Every time they have a new plate of food, you say to them “What are you eating now? What is that?”

It’s now the third time you are talking to them, and what happens psychologically is that as you have these repeated little conversations they become more familiar and you become less nervous. You start seeing them as much less intimidating and you stop being intimidated by them. You start being able to communicate better with them, because you built up your communication with them in little bursts and each conversation got longer and longer.

What you talk about also gets more and more interesting every time you do it. Now you stop talking about food, and start finding out more interesting things about them. We found out, for example, that the women were there celebrating a birthday. Then you stop talking to them again.

It was on the fourth time we talked to them that things really started to heat up. We started talking to them about image, what we did for a living, what they did for a living, where we all were from, and about relationships.

Build Rapport/Connection

This is where things started getting deeper. This is where all the pertinent parts of a conversation that I always talk about come into play: the power of he talk / she talk, the power of asking the right personal questions, and how to get deep inside a woman.

This is really a simple kind of approach, and you haven’t done what most guys do when they go in to approach a woman. What most guys do is spend two hours trying to figure out what to say, instead of going in for the small conversations and walking away.

Every time you use small doses when initiating conversation with a woman, you are able to get more comfortable with her with each conversation. The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable she will be. It becomes a very energy-driven thing, because if you go in all nervous then she’s going to be all nervous. If you go in comfortable, then she’s going to get comfortable.

That is why I always suggest, especially in a bar/restaurant or in a coffee shop where women will be sitting down, to go in for conversation in small doses. It gives you the ability to really shine.

This is what happened that night with my client. By the fourth or fifth conversation, he was so comfortable that I was sitting there texting on my BlackBerry while he was comfortably talking to the women about his son.

They really enjoyed the conversation as well. They even mentioned how we were different from every other guy because we listened to them.

Please tune in tomorrow for Part II of this blog … and find out what happened with my client and I and these women we met in the sushi bar. Also, I will tell you the answer to the question of how you close a woman once you have mastered the skill of knowing how to open her.

I talk all about this and many other ways to open her and close her in my Mens Mastery Series to learn more click here

Todays video is part 2 of how to be outrageous when meeting women at Target.

~ By David Wygant

Top Photo Credit goes to this awesome photographer.

Q: I met this guy through exchange at my school last year and we are now best friends. He is no longer in the same country but we keep in touch.

I really liked him when we first met because he was so different, and he still is, but I think I’ve reached the point where I dont want to ruin the friendship. I don’t think he likes me because he believes long distance relationships fail, and I am confused with how I feel because I dont want to be with him, yet I cannot bare to hear about other girls either.

We both show signs of jealousy when the topic of other girls and boys come up, but I dont think that’s anything more than natural jealousy?

Im just confused on

a) how I feel, which I know I need to figure out myself

b) but also whether or not its possible for things to accelerate or if the notion of boys and girls not being able to be just friends is true or not.

We are always saying I love you to eachother, in a friendly way, and apparently are really cute with how we are with one another, but its possible he is just a nice guy. I dont even know what my question really is, I am just confused with the scenario and want to figure out how to handle matters so that I don’t let my jealousy and emotion ruin what we have, if thats possible?

And more generally, how do most guys show interest in a girl??

Here's a TIP: When a guy likes a girl its REAL obvious.

A: First of all, thanks for the email, now let’s get to it!

Hmmmmmmm……

Your situation sounds like it sucks. You like some guy, he’s unique and different, but he lives far away AND he’s not really into you any more then “just friends.”

The real problem here isn’t with him, it’s with you.

And not because you’re stupid, but because you’re being silly. You seem to be quite rational and well spoken.

But you’re making a huge mistaken assumption. And I don’t blame you, I blame Hollywood, and the church, and mom and dad.

Sometimes you need emotional distance to make more logical decision.

You see it’s easy for me to say, “He’s not worth the effort because he lives far away and isn’t really that interested in you. So let him go and find someone more available instead of wasting your time like a desperate girl.” (I’m not trying to sound harsh.)

I can say that because I have no emotional investment in this situation.

I can be “logical” without it affecting my emotional body.

But, the reason you can’t see reason is BECAUSE of your emotional body. It’s messing you up. You’re like a fat kid who can’t say no to cake because you “think” it’ll feel soooo good to eat it. Except instead of cake you’re looking at a possible relationship with some unique character, that’s got a whole lot of drama already built in (he lives far away, and he’s jealous of your guy friends, and he’s kinda not interested, but he IS interested, and wouldn’t it be cool if you fell in love, etc, etc, etc)

I don’t know you so I can’t really say what your motives are, but I’ve dated many women and I’ve learned one amazing thing about them: they’re all motivated to FEEL.

If I want to seduce a girl it doesn’t matter how I look, or how smooth I talk. The only thing that matters is how much I can make her FEEL. If I can surprise her, make her laugh, make her sad, make her serious, then mad, then she’ll be hooked on me! It’s all about making her FEEL something. That’s how I stand out from the other guys, cause lord knows I’m not much to look at.

So what can you learn from this?

Perhaps you’re not seeing things rationally because you’ve misinterpreted your feelings.

Perhaps you met a guy who was cute, and who was fun, but who was so VERY different that he stood out in your mind. Perhaps this guy is unpredictable and different so he makes you feel “nervous”, and “uncertain.” And these feelings make you think about him simply because that’s how our minds work. It’s like he’s a puzzle and you’re forced to think about him until he’s solved.

Except your logical mind is making a leap that says, “I’m feeling nervous and I’m thinking about him a lot… perhaps this means I have romantic feelings for him! Yes I must!” and once that happens you’re flooded with thoughts of fancy, drama, and possibilities. This leads you on an adventure that will only be disappointing; single and far from him.

Instead you SHOULD have concluded that he’s a nice guy but who’s not available, and therefore a huge waste of your time and energy.

Think about how much more you could get accomplished if you were focused on a dude who’s local, who’s single, and who’s actually interested in you…

I likely haven’t answered any of your questions, so sorry about that.

I’ll just finish with this: jealous is an irrational emotion that shouldn’t be encouraged or worried about. Even couples who are meant to be together will sometimes feel jealousy. Jealousy is your body’s way of saying, “Hey, you have a boundary that I’ve set up and you’re breaking that boundary.”

Jealousy is ugly. Avoid it.

Except in your situation you don’t have boundaries because you’re not an exclusive couple. So therefore these feelings are irrational, immature, and juvenile. As you age you’ll have less and less jealousy because you’ll become more confident and honest with yourself. The best thing to do is to let go of those feelings, don’t’ waste time thinking about them (and yes, you CAN decide what to think about when you try) and focus on YOU for a while.

Focus on finding your passions.

Spending time with your happiest of best friends, and appreciating how lucky you are to be you.

Love yourself while taking a break from the boys, and you’ll come back stronger and wiser.

Now let him go, and meet someone NEW worth getting to know.

~ Robby

Today’s top thumbnail is from this photographer.

Married People Have No Clue!!

Besides some of the people who are on online dating sites, who gives the worst dating advice? Let me think for a second . . .

I know a lot of you are thinking that this is me taking the opportunity to rip my competition, but I am not going to rip my competition here because I think some of them actually give decent dating advice.

Do you know who really gives the worst dating advice? Married people . . . especially the ones who have been married since they were twelve. Okay, maybe not twelve. Maybe they met their future spouse when they were seventeen.

Really, though, the only thing a married person knows is how monotonous sex can be with someone over a long period of time. Oh c’mon now . . . I know some of you still have a robust sex life. In reality, though, most of you are not humping the nights away.

Now I know I’ve opened up a nice can of worms with this one. I can feel the hair on the back of your necks starting to grow. By the way, guys, if you have hair growing on your back . . . wax it! Women really don’t want to date the GEICO caveman.

So let’s get back to the point of the blog. The point of the blog has nothing to do with hair, nor is it about married people’s bad sex life.

It is about the shitty advice that married people give their single friends. The dating world is changing every day.

It’s funny. I was at a party one night, and this married yenta started talking about the benefits of online dating. I looked at her and asked her “How long have you been married?” She said “Seventeen years.”

So me being me, I said “The Internet wasn’t even around when you were dating. Hell, we still had answering machines. We still had phones with metal antennas coming out of them. What do you know about online dating?”

Now, she had no idea what I do for a living. Let’s just say I was about to have some fun.

“A friend of mine met her husband on the Internet.” she continued. So then I started laughing and said “And that’s what makes you an expert in online dating?!” She said “Yes! I heard it works.”

I then told her “You know, Metamucil works also. It’s good for people who are full of shit!” She started laughing, and then asked me what I do for a living. I told her that I teach people how to make the most of their dating life.

So she starts screaming and brings over all the other married yentas in the room. For the next hour and a half, in a very nice Jewish fashion, they tried to set me up.

Then they all admitted that they really know nothing about dating. They just like to stick their nose in other people’s business.

So the moral of this story is this: If you are not out there dating, and you have not been dating since the first Bush mistake in 2000, then butt out of people’s business. Your friends don’t need your outdated bad advice.

When you go car shopping, you don’t ask a friend who always gets the worst lease deal to help you. When you do your taxes, you don’t go to the accountant who caused all his clients to be audited last year.

So why would you go to your married friend who’s not happily married in their life for your dating advice? It’s like going to Matt Millen for draft day advice.

So if you are confused in your dating life, I suggest you go to a non-biased person who can guide you in your dating life. Perhaps to someone who has a black Labrador Retriever named Daphne? Maybe to the person who wrote this blog? Might this be the better person to go to for dating advice?

Here’s my question to all of you: Who do you usually go to for dating advice besides me . . . and who has given you the worst dating advice you’ve ever heard?

Todays powerful video is all about teasing women. Enjoy!!

~ David Wygant

Top Photo Credit goes to this awesome photographer.

THE PARADOX

The DATING world isn’t the same as the RELATIONSHIP world. It can feel like an entirely different beast. At least when it comes to attraction. Women react to your behaviors differently depending on where you’re at together.

Sometimes the world of dating is like Jerry Seinfeld’s Bizarro World where everything is backwards.

I’m not even kidding.

Before I continue to paint myself into a corner I should clarify the following:

1) Although I invite criticism and feedback from the beautiful women that use this website I do ask that you realize that I’m specifically talking to men in this article.

2) Please take everything I write with a grain of salt. I haven’t dated EVERY woman, despite my best efforts, so don’t scorn me for writing something that doesn’t apply to your mom or sisters.

3) The first ten dates are what I consider the “Dating World” while everything beyond that starts to become the “Relationship World.”

BEHAVIOR: Buying her gifts, flowers and chocolates.

Don't be this guy.

Bad for dating. This will only make you seem needy and will not do much to impress her. She doesn’t even KNOW you yet so what has she done to deserve such attention? Being pretty isn’t enough. Showering her with gifts is the fastest way of putting her on a pedestal. And a woman can’t look down from her pedestal and still find you attractive…. only sad.

Good for relationships. If you’re already in a long-term relationship and you bring your girl flowers or candy then you’ll get a VERY different result. She’ll LOVE them, she’ll LOVE you, and your world will get a little brighter.

BEHAVIOR: Giving her too much praise, attention, and affection.

She doesn't want all of your attention, unless you're already her boyfriend.

Bad for dating. Women value what they earn, not what they get for free. Giving away all of your energy on a girl who hasn’t proven her worth makes your attention useless. Women can sense when you’re trying to trade your attention for their approval, so don’t. Remember: one compliment goes farther than ten.

Good for relationships. Giving your girlfriend a little extra attention (without smothering her and only if you’re being sincere) will build rapport and trust. This extra attention and praise is more valuable now that she’s earned her way into your heart.

BEHAVIOR: You open up and share all of your feelings and emotions with her.

Bad for dating. Unfortunately we can all be a little judgmental when we first starting dating. This is how we help keep ourselves safe, and how women develop a sense of who we are. If you unload all of your secrets, feelings, and past emotional baggage, then she’ll get the impression that you’re going to be a long-term burden (cry baby.)

Good for relationships. To relate we need to share, connect, and build trust. And one of the best ways to connect is through intimate stories and secrets. She’ll value your privacy and discretion, and she’ll be more open to sharing your emotional dramas… but only once in while. Don’t be an emotional vampire.

BEHAVIOR: You see and talk to her everyday.

Let her miss you.

Bad for dating. Of course you’re going to be excited when you first start dating but it’s this excitement that you should hold onto, like the tension before a comedian’s punch line, because it only helps build her anticipation of seeing you again. When you talk to a girl everyday, even it it’s through long emails, you’re lessening her anticipation of seeing you. The best thing to do is see her once or twice a week until she’s completely hooked and has asked you “So, where are we at?” Give her the gift of missing you.

Good for relationships. It’s hard to relate when you don’t see each other. So chatting up your girlfriend everyday is a GOOD thing.

BEHAVIOR: You date other women.

Women are competitive... so keep her on her toes at first.

Good for dating. When you are wanted by other women it raises your value, and keeps you from obsessing over “that one special girl.” Dating multiple women keeps you relaxed and normal instead of insecure and uneasy because it gives you options. Plus it helps her to feel uncertain about you, which only raises her need to chase you. Strange and true.

Bad for relationships. Most women simply don’t want to share you with someone else, and after dating for a long time she’ll no longer want to chase you. It’s sometimes fun to chase when dating, but when she’s caught you she doesn’t want to play that game anymore. She wants certainty and progress.

Of course there are many aspects of dating and relating that shouldn’t change (but sometimes do when we get lazy) like flirting, teasing, surprise dates, sexy text messaging, etc. But don’t make the tragic mistakes I’ve outlined above.

There are very different expectations from the girl you just met and the girl you just married. Obviously both types of girls will actually WANT the same things – attention, affection, praise, and certainty. But it’s the sexually successful man who understands that sometimes it’s better to give a woman what she NEEDS instead of what she WANTS. The girl you’ve just met NEEDS a little more tension and mystery while the girl you just married NEEDS a little more predictability, certainty, and comfort.

~ Robby

(Today’s thumbnail photo is from This Photographer.)

You can read Part 7 – Her Inner Zombie here.

I Feel So Confused…

Sometimes women seem to contradict themselves… almost like they’re lying:

• She says, “I really like you… it’s just that I’m not really ready for a relationship right now” and then she immediately starts dating that blond hunk who bartends at your favorite Friday Night Hot Spot. (Read Reason 4 Below)

• She falls crying into your friendly arms to complain about her cheating boyfriend but then ends up going back to him the next weekend. (Read Reason 2 Below)

• She continues to avoid your advances over the last 5 weeks of casual dating because she’s made it clear that she’s not “that type of girl” and that she prefers to “take things slow” … and then ends things with you, but you later hear she complained to her girlfriends that you just wouldn’t “make a move.” (Read Reason 1 Below)

• You’ve been dating her for the past year now and have finally concluded that there some things she’s just not comfortable doing with you … sexually. Until she confesses doing those exact things with a male stripper, in the parking lot, at her friend’s bachelorette party. (Read Reason 1 Below)

• Things are going well in the relationship, you’re giving her everything she wants, but for some reason it seems to only make her more upset and angry. (Read Reason 3 Below)

• She get’s upset when you say, “I don’t care where we eat, you decide.” (Read Reason 3 Below)

Women are a fun conundrum of complexity, emotions, tits and ass. We love to hate them and we hate to love them.

To wrap up this mini-series on women I’m concluding with some of the strangest parts of their behaviors and mindsets…

Why is she crazy?

Four Reasons She’s Not a Crazy Lying Whore

There’s really four main reasons that  can explain the bizarre behaviors of feminine women:

1. The Madonna / Whore complex.
2. Her Feminine Energy.
3. She Tests You Because She Wants To Trust You.
4. She’s Just Not That Into You.

1. Is She Pure, or Purely a Whore?

Here’s a test…

Do you think that “good girls” enjoy sex in a different way then “bad girls”?

Does this make her a whore?

Is there a part of you that thinks your girlfriend needs to be pure and unsoiled by dirty sex acts while you secretly masturbate to fantasies between you and “whores” performing very different sexual activities?

Some women have this same complex.

It’s often called the Madonna / Whore complex.

It’s an inner conflict many of us grow up with… we gain this prejudice about sex and sexuality that causes us to judge ourselves, and others, based upon their sexual habits. Blame the church, your mom, or the media for introducing you to such prejudices. And blame yourself for holding onto them.

Here’s the problem: we’re taught to treat certain sexual activities as “dirty” … this often leads to us (men and women) to  judging AND desiring women who are more sexually aggressive, assertive, and open.

Somewhere we’re taught that sexuality is dirty. And yet we’re also told that sex is awesome and being sexy is awesome! This conflict can really mess us up.

The problem is that women are at the raw end of this deal. Women suffer more from social judgments then we do. Boys can brag about their sexual exploits while girls are shamed for theirs.

This causes us to divide the way we see sex with women as both loving AND dirty.

This is a disease of the mind that can make many guys diminish the type of sex life they’re willing to enjoy with their girlfriends and wives simply because they don’t want to “soil” their image of her… while secretly craving more sexually experimental relationships with other women they respect less.

Believing that your girlfriend might become soiled from your deep sexual thirst is a terrible belief that only pushes her more and more away from you, and may encourage both partners to seek sex outside of the relationship. This is stupid.

The term SLUTTY confuses us... how can we both judge and desire her?

If you REALLY believe that your girlfriend/wife is only for “making love” while the porn star you masturbate to is only good for “dirty sex” then you are definitely suffering from the Madonna / Whore complex.

It’s this judgment of themselves (or fear from the judgments of others) that causes so many women to put up a fake front that says, “I only make love… I’m not into dirty sex.” These same women WANT to explore their sexuality, but they will never do so with someone they fear will embarrass them in public, or who will judge them for it the next day.

And some guys get this.

It’s these guys who enjoy one-night-stands with women simply because they provide a “safe” environment for her to explore her sexual desires, without the fear of him laughing at her for it, or bragging to her friends afterwards.

Remember… being sexual is NOT wrong… it’s empowering and natural. And the sooner you can convey your feelings on the matter the better. Because if she sees that you’re not embarrassed to flirt, or share sexual secrets, she’ll ALSO feel less inhibited. And that’s a good thing.

If you want women to surrender to your sexual escalation then you will need to rid yourself of such sexual judgments (towards yourself and others.)

2. The Mysteries Of The Feminine

Read anything by David Deida and you’ll quickly learn powerful insights about the masculine and the feminine.

All men and women can express masculine energy and feminine energy. But overall most women naturally express feminine energy and most guys express masculine energy.

The feminine energy is about passion, creativity, dramatic expression, nurturing and loving. This energy wants to be filled up with never-ending emotions and feelings of love. Most feminine people seek long conversations because they enjoy the ever flowing process of talking and sharing.

The masculine energy is about making order out of chaos, puzzle solving, bringing things to conclusion. This energy is about emptying out, feeling void and quiet. Like the feelings of orgasm, or meditation. We masculine people want silence and peace and so we hurry to finish the conversation.

The ultimate feminine expression is giving life (being a mother for example.) The ultimate masculine expression is death (violent sports help illustrate this.)

Masculine Vs. Feminine Scale

These two energies are like the opposites on a magnet – north and south. And the more opposite your energy is to hers, the more attracted you’ll both naturally feel.

But because we express ourselves so differently (the masculine and the feminine) we often find ourselves very confused with the opposite energy (or opposite sex.) While we guys want to sit quietly and watch a sport’s show she might want to sing and dance and interact. We guys often want silence while she wants to talk. It’s simply two different energies.

This difference can be annoying outside of the bedroom, but during sex these differences feel fantastic! The more masculine male will want to devour her and fill her up with himself. The more feminine female will surrender to his lead and will want to be filled up by him.

If she’s very feminine then she’s very much like the weather. Ever changing and hard to predict. She’s influenced by all the hot and cold fronts all around her. The more feminine she is, the more she’s influenced by the things around her and by others in her life. Why? Because the feminine enjoys this constant flux and flow of emotions. While the masculine prefers structure and order.

Here’s how it applies…

When you say “Do you want to join me for dinner Thursday night?” she’s might actually hear “Do you feel like joining me for dinner Thursday night?” And perhaps in that very moment she’s feeling happy and content and really DOES feel like joining you for dinner on Thursday night.

But come Thursday she may no longer feel like joining you. So when she cancels and says “No I don’t feel like joining you tonight” she’s being honest because she really doesn’t feel like it –  in that moment. She was being honest when she first said, “yes” but she was also being honest on Thursday when she says, “no thanks.”

Does this make her a liar?

No.

This just makes her a slave to her emotions. I know some guys like this too, so I’m not actually pointing fingers at all women, I’m just hoping to provide some insight into scenarios like this. There can be any number of reasons someone flakes out on us.

Something that is especially true with women you’ve just started to date, or have just met, is that they really don’t know you yet. It takes many many years to learn about someone, and so if she’s canceling out on a date it’s not because she’s rejecting you. She doesn’t even know you. It’s because of her own reasons. These are reasons you’re going to have to accept as being unknowable.

Force yourself to be around attractive women so that you can become acclimatized to their feminine energy.

Should you get upset about this?

No.

Do you get upset when the weather is sunny on one day and then rainy on the next day? Of course not, because the weather is uncontrollable and is made up of so many variables that it’s almost impossible to predict. This is the same as the emotional well being of a feminine woman in any given moment. And if she’s making decisions based upon how she feels then you’re almost at the mercy of her emotional state.

Learn to improve her emotional state and you’ll learn how to help her to ALWAYS say “YES!” to your requests.

Don’t take her “no thanks” as a final answer until you’ve made an effort to first improve her emotional state. Make her laugh, make her smile, and try again. Persistence is a part of being a man who get’s what he wants.

3. She Tests You To Trust You

It’s called a “shit test.”

It’s her being bitchy, rude, or purposely antagonistic.

It took me years before I knew this was even happening, and once I did I had no idea how to deal with it. Thankfully I can save you some grief…

Why does she do it?

She wants to know if your house is made of straw or stone.

She will test you simply because she doesn’t think you’re paying attention, being authentic, or bringing your true masculine self to the interaction. Almost like a child who screams to get his mom’s attention, she will sometimes scream to find out what you’re made of. She wants to know if you will freak out and prove to her that you’re not a man, or she wants to know if you’re stand up for yourself and that you’re a mountain that she can’t move.

If you’re insecure, easily manipulated, or you become angry and frustrated, then she knows that your house is made of straw. And your straw house will not keep her safe in times of real trouble. But if you are non-reactive to the hurricane that is her emotional state, then she will FEEL that your house is made of stone, and that she can trust you to keep a cool head in times of trouble.

Here’s the perfect example of a guy who “doesn’t get it” and who’s house is built of straw:

Guy: “Hey ladies, my name is Steve. I just HAD to come over here to meet you!”

Lady 1: “We’re not out to get picked up tonight pal, so fuck off.”

Guy: “Jesus, sorry for bothering you. I didn’t know you were bitches.”

In this first scenario the guy is reacting to the negative energy these two women were already feeling.

Here is the same interaction, except he’s more present and nonreactive to their mood:

Guy: “Hey guys, my name’s Steve.”

Lady 1: “We’re not out to get picked up tonight pal, so fuck off.”

Guy: “Wow, finally a woman who’s actually honest. That’s kinda powerful. Don’t feel bad, I’m the cock block for my friends too. Pound it!” (puts his fist out to be bumped.)

You see, being upset with a woman simply because she’s not into you is NOT how a “real man” reacts. And women naturally desire “real men.” So when you don’t react to her bad behavior, it helps teach her that  you’re an unmoving mountain that she can lean on in times of stress.

The three easiest ways to “pass” her tests, at any stage of your relationship:

1) Be a leader. Make decisions without seeking her permission. Drive the buss. If she has an opinion she’ll let you know, but she’ll become frustrated with you if you’re ALWAYS asking her first…. “But sweet heart, where do YOU want to eat dinner tonight? What movie do YOU want to see?” Handling her with kitten gloves and constantly seeking her approval will make her bitchy very quickly. Instead you should just LEAD.

2) Escalate. If you’ve had three dates and you still haven’t tried to kiss her, then she’s gonna move on quick. Trust me, women don’t get upset when you make your move, they get upset when you don’t.

3) Don’t take things personally. If you react to the world like everything everyone else is doing is some type of slight towards you, then you’re just being a sissy. You are not a unique snowflake and you are not that important. When other people are slamming you it’s because they’re mad, not because you matter. It’s not personal. Every bad thing people do to hurt others has nothing to do with others, and has EVERYTHING to do with themselves. Read Don Ruiz to learn more about this.

4. She’s Just Not That Into You

I know this is hard to believe but sometimes a woman really doesn’t want you around.

The Bitch Shield helps prevent her from talking to your sorry ass.

Either she’s not into you (so she’s rude in a way that makes you go away) or she’s insecure and rejects you before you can reject her (I call this Rejection Protection Syndrome.)

And sometimes the easiest way to get rid of a dude is to be an asshole to him. It’s not mature, but it works.

If you’re interacting with a woman and you’re battling her mood, let her go. Don’t hold on to your frustration, just let it go. Maybe in 30 minutes she’ll relax and when she does she’ll realize you handled yourself with cool calm confidence.

Besides, why chase a girl who’s not interested? It’s annoying for her, and emasculating for you.

Final Thoughts

As hot and crazy as women are, I feel they’re worth studying. Not only to lessen our frustrations with their decision making process, but to improve the chances of them wanting into our lives, as friends and lovers.

But there’s a terrible secret I’ve hidden from you until just now.

Getting the Girl is made easier by studying them, but your real success will come from understanding yourself. Learning why you react the way you do, understanding your OWN emotions and motivations… THAT is where you can make GREAT strides with women.

Why? Because the more balanced you become as a man, the more attractive you become naturally to everyone around you.

There’s something captivating about being around a person who’s balanced, centered, and present.

So, stop reading about women, and start learning about your hot self.

~ Robby

P.S. Did any of this make sense? Ask me your questions in the comments below.

Top Photo Credit: SuicideGirls.com – Pin-Up Punk Rock and Goth Girls

You can read She Fears Social Judgements? here.

Her Inner Zombie

The unconscious mind has been labeled the “zombie within” by some scientists either as a joke, or to help imply its mindlessness. These same scientists have discovered that as much as 90% of our decisions are being handled by parts of our brains that are totally unconscious or outside of our awareness.

Most parts of our human functions take place unconsciously, like our heart beat and our breathing. While at the same time, if we focus, our conscious mind can interrupt this process and affect it for better or worse. But on its deepest levels our unconscious mind will take over when it concerns our overall health and well being (it’s impossible to hold your breath to death through shear will for example.)

Watch this TED video to learn more about 3 ways the brain creates meaning: Link

I propose that our emotional and sexual attraction to each other is driven by these same unconscious decisions. And I don’t mean just instinctually, because not bodily response is born from instincts. Many of our decisions and reactions require complicated pattern recognition but which happen far beyond our focused thoughts. Our beliefs, driven from years of domestication from our parents, peers, and mentors, affect our behaviors deeply.

Ask any pro athlete what it’s like to be in “the zone” and they’ll describe their performances as mindless, almost as if they’re out of their own bodies and simply at the will of their purpose driving them to win.

I’m going to refer to a woman’s unconscious decision making as her Inner Zombie. It’s mindless and uncontrollable, and that’s actually to our advantage.

She’s not alone; we dudes have our own sexual zombies. As a man I’m quite sure you’ve discovered how your penis pretty much has a mind of its own. He calls his own shots, if you know what I mean. We spend much of our teenage years learning his preferences so as to appease his anger, his hungers, and his lusts.

We guys can be driven by our harmones, making us confused about wanting to fight or fuck. This mindlessness can drives us to be pretty… uncool.

Testosterone Kills

And as a man you might often like to think that your decision making is perfectly within your rational brain, but experience should have taught you otherwise.

Why did I wet my bed when I was 13? Why did I punch that guy in the face when he insulted my ego? Why did I vomit when I saw my buddy vomit? Why do I overeat when I’m on a diet? Why did I call that girl three times when I know it’s only going to creep her out?

Unfortunately this Zombie Within makes many decisions for us and refuses to ask for our approval.

One of the most influential writers for men around the topic of women and dating is David DeAngelo. I will likely reference him many time through out my blog because his work has not only helped me to understand some of these dating insights, but also because his Dating Products are some of the best on the market.

I’m referring to him now because he was the first guy to explain that Attraction Isn’t a Choice. He found himself as frustrated as I was trying to “figure out” why woman make such bad decisions.

But why?

Why do some women stay in painful and often abusive relationships?

Why do some women date assholes while the nice guys are stuck at home alone and frustrated?

Why are some hot chicks dating douche bags?

Hipsters Are ... Sad.

Anthony Robbins has some answers as to the WHY we do these things: Link.

(Now that I’m no longer full of hate I can totally appreciate this website because it only helps to prove that ANY GUY can get a hot girlfriend.)

When I was single and jaded I asked these types of questions all the time.

The reason I wasn’t finding an answer to my angry questions was because these questions pre-assumed that women were actually “choosing” to be attracted to the men they dated. The reality is that women DON’T control who they’re attracted to.

This is the same truth for men.

Blame her Inner Zombie.

She might be crazy, but we don't care.

Her Inner Zombie takes over when she feels things she likes or dislikes.

Does she know the guy she’s dating is an asshole?

Most likely.

Most women are not stupid.

Most women are actually amazingly intelligent. But that doesn’t mean she’s always going to make SMART choices. She may understand intellectually that her boyfriend is an asshole, but if she stays with him it’s because she FEELS that it’ll be worth it in the end. Perhaps she’s decided she can change him, or that his other positive qualities outshine his negative. But what’s really happening is that her Zombie Within is having a great influence over her decisions by driving her emotions to “stay” instead of “to leave.”

There’s a pay off her logical mind isn’t noticing. Maybe she’s getting the attention she’s desperately seeking. Maybe she more comfortable with a man who’s domineering like her Dad was.. it’s comfortable. Maybe she’s too ashamed of the social attention a break up might bring her. Maybe he self esteem secretly convinces her that she deserves what ever punishment her boyfriend gives her.

Her logical brain is losing it’s battle against her unconsious belief system. It’s this Inner Zombie of hers that’s driving her to make this poor decision.

Her Inner Conflicts

Every woman will sometimes have a conflict between how she feels and what she thinks. It’s your job, as the seducer of women, to speak clearly to her Inner Zombie while being playful with her consious mind.

Why? Because rationally she may fear social judgements like being called a slut, or easy, so she will actively avoid one-night-stands or the walk-of-shame the next morning. But if you know how to communicate with her Inner Zombie (her body’s intuition and emotional state) then she’ll backwards rationalize her conflicted decision in an effort to sooth her mind from guilt or unease.

Side Story: The walk-of-shame is no joke! I’ve heard many stories from hockey players back in high school who experienced this drama first hand. My friend told me a story where he woke up in a panic the morning after a one-night-stand with a local girl he met while on the road with this hockey team. He discovered it was about 4  AM and he immediately rushed her out of his room while whispering, “You gotta get out of here before the guys wake up or they’ll all start chanting ‘Dirt! Dirt! Dirt!’ at you as you leave down the hall! Get out of here quick and be quiet!” Apparently this was something he experienced from his “buddies” on previous occasions.

For example, have you ever heard of Last Minute Resistance? LMR? This is where you’ve been making out with a girl, expecting that you’re finally going to have sex, when she suddenly panics and stops you short of the “full release.” This is her Inner Zombie saying, “Wait! This might be a mistake! This might be a trap! Danger! Danger!” which makes her slow everything down.

If you pay attention, and you learn how to connect with her properly, this last minute resistance will not occur.

I’ll give you some quick examples, but for more check out my book here: IGNORE and SCORE

Ways to prevent Last Minute Resistence

Educate yourself. Long before you get into bed realize what her real worries are – judgement, physical harm, emotional harm. Realize that true prevention of LMR comes from the first moments you spend together. During your time together BEFORE the bedroom she needs to TRUST you and feel deeply COMFORTABLE with you. It’s not about building up her lust levels, it’s about lowering her resistance and fears.

She’s thinking, “What will my friends say if I sleep with him so soon?” and, “Will I catch a disease?” and, “How do I know if he’s just using me?”

To help her feel at ease you can work your thoughts on these matters into your early conversations. Tell her a story about how you view One-Night-Stands: “I’ve had the odd one-night-stand but it’s rare. I mostly want to trust a girl before I let her into my bed. The last thing I want is a crazy person stalking me after sex, or a disease from a girl I don’t yet know. But ultimately I trust my intuition, I prefer going with the flow, and if our sexual desires come together early then our chemestry must be awesome! Why waste that? Besides I don’t kiss and tell so my friends don’t judge me.”

A quick story like this will instantly help her to realize that you “get it.”

By the time you’re both in bed together she might not know logically why she trusts you so much, so quickly, but her Inner Zombie will, and the Zombie dictates most things.

to help her feel more comfortable invite her friend to join.

Build Trust and Comfort. Understanding rapport helps this a lot! Google it if you’re not sure. Rapport between two people is the best way to calm down her Inner Zombie. It communicates with her unconscious mind that you’re safe because you’re just like her. It’s like showing her a mirror of herself. And most people don’t fear having sex with themselves… do they?

Building trust comes from being honest and sincere. If you’re using pickup lines and pre-memorized stories, there’s a large chance she’s going to feel that you’re being fake. She won’t logically know why you feel “off” but her gut (Inner Zombie) will know.

Don’t judge her. Don’t tell stories where you judge other people. The less you judge the more open she’ll be. Don’t act disgusted when she tells you she’s slept with her Dad’s best friend when she was 15. Don’t ask disgusted when she explains that she strips on the weekends for extra cash. And don’t tell her stories about how disgusted you are about other women who sleep around.

If you judge other women for being sexual and open then she’s going to FEEL that and she’ll NEVER feel safe being sexual and open with you.

In bed she might say something like, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” This is a weak form of LMR. It’s her saying, “I feel nervous about this… please make me feel more comfortable…”

Your reply should be something like this, “I know, right!? This is so great!”

One last thing on this topic… there’s no need to pretend you’re having sex with her because you want her to be your girlfriend (if you don’t.) Be honest by saying, “I’m just really having a good time, and obviously I don’t want to stop right now, but I don’t want to mislead you into thinking this is more than it is. If you think you’re going to become attached to me then we should definitely slow down.”

You might not get laid, but you also won’t have to deal with a woman stalker, or the guilt you might have for hurting some innocent woman.

Attraction Triggers

If you push a woman’s Attraction Triggers you’ll awaken her Inner Zombie which will then flood her blood with pleasure filled hormones, thereby anchoring you in her mind as very pleasurable.

Women will go through amazing struggles to be with men they are attracted to, even if the man is a douche bag, an abusive drunk, or an asshole. Women will stay in terrible marriages and ignore the advice from all of their girlfriends simply because they “feel” this guy’s right for them.

Abusive Couple

Her logical mind has nothing to do with these choices, because her desire for you is not a conscious choice. Stupid Zombie.

If you want to learn how some guys are able to trigger a woman’s Zombie Within, or her Attraction Triggers, then you should be paying attention to what exactly these guys doing differently. Once her Sexual Zombie is awake it takes over her emotional state and will often “will” her to make decisions that get her closer to the man who’s triggering the attraction within her.

I’ve already said this before but it bears repeating: women want men who can bring them great emotions.

If you know how to bring a woman pleasurable emotions, she’ll become addicted to you like a drug addict. You can do this by learning to communicate with her Zombie Within.

Read my post on How To Create Attraction Within A Woman found here.

When you communicate with her emotions you’re REALLY communicating with her Inner Zombie. It’s her unconscious mind and emotional body that will trigger her to chase you.

This is why I give guys the advice to NEVER waste time trying to convince a woman with their words and logic. See examples here and here.

Telling a girl you “really like her” is nice but it won’t flip her attraction switches. You need to have impact.

Mixed Messages

One of the best ways to communicate with a woman’s unconsious mind is to tease her. That’s really what flirting is all about.

We do this to be elusive and fun. By presenting her brain with a puzzle we’re able to sink into her thoughts. She’ll end up asking herself, “Wait, does he like me or does he dislike me? He’s fun, but I can’t tell if he’s into me too. Why isn’t he into me?”

It can be very playful and fun!

Remember: women have pretty much mastered this process.

They will sometimes dress in revealing clothes but then act bratty and disgusted if you look at them like a piece of meat. They will act super excited to talk to you again, but then won’t return your phone call for three days.

Girls are great at sending Mixed Messages

The reality is that women LOVE sexual attention, but only from guys they’re already attracted to. So don’t be creepy if she hasn’t yet invited you to be.

Types of Mixed Messages that are attractive when said with a wink and a smile:

• “My God, you have the most beautiful eyes! Well… maybe just the left one.”
• “You’re cute! Don’t say anything, or you might mess it up!”
• “You have the most beautiful smile! Out of ALL the smiles I’ve seen today you’re easily number 4. I’m going to call you number 4 now.”
• “You’re pretty sarcastic … and some people might think you’re mean because they don’t get it, but I’m sarcastic too. That’s why we could never hang out together. We’d just end up having a blast making fun of everyone but our Karma would be devastating!”

~ Robby

P.S. The final part of this series is called “Are Women Liars?”

P.S.S. Did any of this make sense? Ask me questions in the comments below.

Top Photo Credit: SuicideGirls.com – Pin-Up Punk Rock and Goth Girls

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In case you don’t know: IGNORE And SCORE is the term I have ‘coined’ for the pickup style that I’ve developed. I’ve dated many MANY amazing women over the past 6 years and I’ve done so completely on purpose. My sexual success has be no accident.

I’m no natural.

I’m no George Clooney.

This is a lifestyle I used to dream about, and now I want to share it with every single man I can find!

This is by far the biggest thing I have ever put together. I’ve even enlisted the services of a professional copywriter before launch to ensure the end result is a polished product.

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As you can probably tell, this wasn’t just some project that was put together in a rush. I’ve spent countless hours on this and the finished result contains everything you need to know about how you can attract and date the beautiful women you desire and deserve – this is about Inner Game and Out Game pickup techniques and mindsets.

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MY STORY

In 2003 I was divorced, depressed, and single.

I was fat and newly divorced.

I loved women (still do) but it seemed that the more I tried to meet and impress them the more frustrated and rejected I became. At 28 I had entered the very different world of dating with absolutely no skills at socializing, meeting or attracting women. I didn’t even know that you could learn how to attract women!

My first instinct was to lose weight and to get fit. I updated my wardrobe, diet, and training. I really turned my health around and ended up looking my best!

I lost weight and got fit.

After feeling pretty good about my appearance my confidence returned and I started talking to girls again.

And guess what happened? I had spent so much time trying to impress my ex wife I had zero skills at actually attracting women.

I could meet women easily ...

What happened next really confused and frustrated me. I could meet women without much problem (because I was cute and nice) but I could not keep a girl to save my life.

Meeting women was easy but turning one of them into my girlfriend was an impossibility.

... in the end I was always alone.

Every time I meet a girl I liked she’d end up walking away from me after just a few dates.

What was I doing wrong!?

I wasn’t creating attraction.

Instead I was being super nice, which builds rapport and creates good friends, but that only leads to the “Friend’s Zone.”

Brutal.

So I sulked for about a year before I got my act together.

Then I started reading.

I started reading everything I could on dating, pickup, attraction and seduction. I became hungry for knowledge, and VERY excited to learn that some skills CAN be learned!

Just some of the books I read.

I started to learn from my stupid mistakes.

I also started to notice something I’ve since coined as the “IGNORE and SCORE” method of attraction and dating. I started to notice the way some guys would behave around really hot girls. And it was completely different than how I was acting.

I paid attention, applied my knowledge, and I started dating again.

I immediately found success!

I met many great women!

I also discovered that strong Inner Game manifests strong Outer Game and so I was able to build my social circle of friends as well.

And for 6 years I met hundreds of amazing women. I raised my standards, improved my self-esteem, rebuilt my personal boundaries and expectations, and I really raised the bar for the type of women I wanted to ultimately end up with.

My socials skills also helped keep old friends and make new ones!

Something else happened.

I got fat and lazy and gained about 30 lbs.

But since my mindsets were now powerful and attractive it didn’t slow down my dating. At all!

Gaining weight never slowed me down.

Gaining weight never slowed me down.

Gaining weight never slowed me down.

Try to understand something… my goal was never to go out and get laid (although I did) and my goal was never to get any girl I met (although I always got the girls I really wanted) because ultimately I was looking for real love from just one amazing woman.

Today I’m living comfortably as a computer geek, while living with my beautiful girlfriend.

I eat too much ...

I play games like a geek ...

... and this is my girlfriend.

I’m over weight, smart, and lovable.

Over the last 6 years I’ve dated the most beautiful women I ever thought possible, I’ve read more books on dating and pickup than most, and I’ve dated hundreds of other women in my endless pursuit of learning about love, sex, and relationships.

Me writing at Mom's.

I’ve spent the last few years gathering my thoughts on Dating Success, Inner GameTactics, and Pickup Techniques and I’ve compiled them into this philosophy called IGNORE and SCORE.

I have interviewed beautiful women.

IGNORE and SCORE is my way of proving that YOU can do the same: you can quickly learn the foundations of what makes women “turned on” and what “pushes them away.”

If I can save just ONE MAN (you) from the embarrassment of rejection by teaching him (you) how to avoiding typical dating mistakes then this eBook will have been well worth all the hours I’ve spent writing it!

Buy it, read it, and if it doesn’t help you at all I’ll give you a 100% refund, no questions asked. Seriously.

Did I mention this is my girlfriend?

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DATING SECRETS REVEALED IN THIS EBOOK

Here are some examples of what you’ll learn:

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For years I’ve enjoyed the endless variety of women that dating online offers and I’ve finally compiled my best dating tips and techniques into this one comprehensive guide.

In this additional eBook I’ve simplified 4 major Online Dating topics:

• Your Profile (Attraction)
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HOW MUCH?

What does it cost to fearlessly approach women for years in an effort to dissect what REALLY makes them turned on? It took me years and years so I guess it cost me hundreds of dates, dinners, coffee’s, and many many human hours of introspection, contemplation and interpretation.

I also read the endless array of online dating books from the amazingly popular pickup artists and dating gurus. My insights are thanks to them and their products.

How much time and energy would you be willing to exhaust while attempting to figure out exactly what it is that makes a woman desperately seek your attention and approval?

How much time would it take for you to replicate my endless hard work?

I’ve put in the years trying to figure out the core foundations of attraction, rapport and intimacy and the last thing I want is to see any more of my fellow brothers helplessly struggling where I once did. I also feel poorly for the women out there who are frustrated with those men who simply “don’t get it.”

Don’t believe me? Ask the nearest woman what it’s like to deal with men who are lost and confused. You’ll see that most women are as sexually frustrated as most men.

“So I’ve compiled my best experiences, my best pickup lines,
and my best mindsets for attracting women into this eBook.”

What do I ask for in return for this book of knowledge?

At first I wasn’t sure.

At first I was going to give it away for free, but do you know what I came to discover? Nothing given away free seems to have any value to those who receive it. Most people simply won’t read a book that’s free. It’s really bizarre. But when we’re forced to hand over our money we suddenly become more invested… we put some skin in the game.

So in an effort to help you out I’ve priced my eBook at $27

Basically, when you download my eBook you’re saying, “Hey Rob, thanks for the endless work you’ve put into helping me out with women… go out and have dinner and a drink on me!”

To which I say, “Hey, thanks man!” Super High-Five.

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Perhaps you’re looking for that ONE insight, or perhaps you’re completely confused about women – but I promise you that you’ll find something useful in my book. I’m so sure that if you download and read it and you don’t dramatically improve your dating life I’ll simply refund your money.

When you click on the button below, you’ll be taken to a secure order page where you can download the book right now.

Read the book from cover to cover and you’ll learn female insights that will suddenly make certain female behaviors clear and obvious. You’ll suddenly have an understanding of what to do, what to say, and how to behave that will naturally make women attracted to you.

Take 7 days to read the book and start trying my tips and techniques.

If, after you’ve read the book you decide that it’s not for you… or you didn’t find any useful information in it for your situation, simply reply to your confirmation email with the word “cancel” in the subject line and I’ll refund your entire payment.

I truly want to help you meet and date more great women. The last thing I want to do is ask you to pay for advice that isn’t useful to you.

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SAMPLES

SCORE CONFIDENCE – IGNORE & SCORE, Page 23.
SEDUCTION – IGNORE & SCORE, Page 11.
SCORE INDICATORS OF INTERST – IGNORE & SCORE, Page 59.
BE CHOOSY – MINDSETS FOR DATING ONLINE, Page 29.
WHAT IS LEADING? – IGNORE & SCORE, Page 33.

NOW WHAT?

At the bottom of this page you’ll click on the “Download Now” button, which will take you to my secure Pay Pal checkout page. This eBook (Ignore and Score) costs just $27, and comes with my other eBook (Mindsets for Dating, Online) absolutely free!

From there you’ll be able to instantly download and begin reading all of my very best tips and techniques for meeting and dating beautiful women. You don’t even need to read this eBook from cover to cover, simply pick and choose the sections that stand out most to you.

Please email me personally if you have any questions: EMAIL ME

I wish you new and continued success with women,

~ Robert Belland

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Besides the obvious physical dangers that women face there is another, very misunderstood fear, that you should consider; the fear of social judgment, rejection or embarrassment.

This is no joke.

I think you (yes you specifically) lack an appreciation for a woman’s fear of social judgment just like she has a lack of appreciation for the sensitivity of your balls. Both fears are  based upon a deep animal instinct grown from millennia of genetic pruning and fine tuning.

Women instinctively fear the loss of Social Status.

So what exactly do they fear?

Back in the caveman days social status was EVERYTHING. If you became an outcast you were dead. It was that simple. Even today we have this DEEP fear – both men and women.

But women are different then men. Where we men tend to grow up with a disconnect to our feelings we’re able to ignore some of the social judgements that women aren’t.

Just look at the nicknames women have that men don’t: slut, whore, bitch, tramp, easy, loose, frigid, cold-fish, or even virgin. Each judgement is meant to lower her perceived social value. Yet we men don’t have these same judgements, and so we tend to suffer far less inner scrutiny for our social behaviours.

Drunk Guy - Funny?

Drunk Girl - Slutty?

For some reason we judge women differently, and they know it.

Take time to understand a woman’s fear of social judgment and you will learn ways to make your interactions with her fun, exciting, memorable, and attractive.

Otherwise you risk stomping all over her feelings without realizing it. That’s a poor way to pick up chicks dude.

It’s all about calibration

I went through high school misunderstanding what social calibration meant, which is why I was mostly single.

Don’t walk in my footsteps. Seriously. No seriously. Or I’ll kill you.

Calibration means knowing what is appropriate in certain situations, and what isn’t. We have names for guys with no social calibration: creepy, geeky, nerdy, and awkward.

He's not calibrated.

If you’re acting like any of these guys she’s going to avoid you in social situations simply because you will “ruin her rep” as they used to say. Basically she doesn’t want to get raped, or embarrassed.

It’s that simple.

Social judgment comes in many forms as well. Most women will never put themselves in a situation that will give other women the opportunity to label her as a “slut.” This means most women will go out of their way to appear very wholesome despite their very real internal lust for sexual adventures and exploration.

Rihanna - Good Girl AND Bad Girl

You should know that she wants to hookup at the bar as much as you do BUT she will NEVER admit it.

At least not in a social situation where her friends might judge her. This is why bar pickup has certain hurdles – approval of her friends, great rapport with the group, and multiple locations (jumping bar to bar, or bar to restaurant.) This helps her alleviate the fear that her friends will label her slutty, or easy… and it helps alleviate her from judging herself.

If you want a one-night-stand then you must LEAD, because it allows her to blame you when she goes home feeling unsure… she doesn’t want to go home feeling “easy.” Instead she wants to be able to say, “he seduced me.”

Excuses she tells her friends after hooking up with a guy the first might:

- “Oh man, I was so drunk last night, I didn’t even know what I was doing.”
- “Ya, he totally seduced me! I didn’t even know what was happening!”
- “Ya, we went back to his place because he wanted to show me this awesome painting he did, and well… one thing lead to another…”
- “Well I was on vacation, and what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…”

This doesn’t mean most women don’t want one-night stands, or that most women haven’t had them, it just means women want to be very discreet about it. I’ve met many women who were very uptight about sex talk and who would actively avoid it in social conversation. But in private they would burst wide open about fantasy talk and sexual adventures.

Realize this: women love sex JUST as much as we do!

This is important because it will help you to NOT take it so personally when she acts all shy about sex in public, around their friends, or even in front of you if you’ve just met. Acting prudish is her social defence. Kinda like a Bitch Shield is a social defence.

On the flip side we men often tie our self esteem to our sexual success too often. This is ALSO a mistake and should be avoided at all costs. Take heed of my words.

It’s nice to feel manly when you’re able to have sex with beautiful women but it’s ridiculous to chase women simply because you’re needing validation and approval. Pay attention to your motivations.

This anxiety of social and personal judgments will often lead a woman to something called “Last minute resistance” which is when a woman suddenly decides, at the last minute, to not have sex with you. There are many reasons that lead her to this point, and I’ll cover that in a later blog post… if you ask nicely.

Calibration

Pay attention when talking with her.

Be aware of her body language, and those around you. It’s less important what she’s saying, and more important what her body is saying.

1) Is she really paying attention to what you are saying, or is she distracted by everything else? Is she looking at you, or looking around the room.

2) Is she leaning into you, or away from you?

3) Is she touching you, or avoiding you?

4) Is she responding well, by laughing and asking questions, or are her responses brief?

Pay attention to her body language

If she’s acting cold then you better notice it, because fumbling your way through a conversation with someone who doesn’t want one, is a great way to tell her that you’re socially retarded.

If you’re not noticing how she responds to your questions and answers then how are you ever going to know if she’s into you or not?

As a rule don’t bother a girl if she’s NOT responding to you. Simply smile, say, “It was nice to meet you” and walk away. This way other women watching don’t see you burn out and decide not to talk to you as well. Instead they recognize that you have good calibration and social awareness.

This includes chatting with girls through Facebook or Myspace. Men who aren’t calibrated will shower a woman’s profile with idiot comments, stories, and praise, but will not notice how she DOESN’T reciprocate. These guys seem needy and uncalibrated. Don’t be these guys!

Watch other guys

The best way to learn calibration is to watch other guys who are GREAT with women, and who are GREAT with everyone! A man who can hold a group of people captive through his words can be a great mentor. Find one and pay attention. Learn. Copy. Mimic. What ever it takes.

Watch their movies and body language.

Practice

Notice how jocks in high school do well with women? It’s not just because they’re fit. It’s also because they spend their youth interacting with hundreds of people through events and parties.

Each time you interact with someone it’s like doing a rep at the gym. Guys with a huge bench press are guys who do a lot of bench press at the gym.

Talking to people are  your reps. The world is your gym.

So hit the streets and talk to people, every day, all day. Not just the hot chicks, or the waitress you really like. Talk to every person you meet through out your day. This way you will slowly learn calibration and social skills.

Learn from the experts

There are a dozens of amazing dating couches who rule the online community. Find them. Read their books. And LEARN social calibration. This is so easy, and so assessable, that I’m amazed more men don’t do this. Instead most men end up being awkward, ignorant, and lonely.

Get out of your comfort zone and do some learning.

~ Robby

P.S. The next part of this series is called “Her Inner Zombie”

P.S.S. Did any of this make sense? Ask me questions in the comments below.

Top Photo Credit: SuicideGirls.com – Pin-Up Punk Rock and Goth Girls

Wonder why women have “Bitch Sheilds” or why they ignore your dirty advances? It’s because she knows you’re creepy long before you open your mouth.

But why do women develop this empathy and acute awareness?

Because you’re a pervert who touched himself growing up.

Just kidding, but not just kidding.

Photo By ItsMeKlara (flickr.com)

Try this experiment if you dare: take your closest female friends out for dinner (it’s okay to take your sisters if you have no female friends… I won’t judge) and ask them what it was like growing up as a girl.

Ask them to explain some of the scary things they’ve encountered from older men when they hit puberty.

I’ve done this myself and I was filled with rage against men, but I grew an appreciation for women and their sensitivities.

Almost all women will experience dramatic social changes when they hit puberty and when they start to develop their “womanly figures.” I’ve heard stories about how awkward one friend of mine felt when she was only 14 when her dad’s male friends would come over and have beers and stare at her awkwardly, possessively, and with deep sexual intent.

Think about how disturbing this would be as a young boy. Ever have a creepy uncle look at you weird? Think about it.

She's been dealing with creepy guys for years ... respect that.

When I had this discussion with many of the women I’ve dated I was also horrified at how many rape stories I would hear. Not only do almost all women have a story where they were victimized in one way or another, but every girl who was telling me their story seemed to have a peaceful detachment from it. I found that I became very upset to hear their stories, while they seemed to have a quiet acceptance of the whole thing, as if it was simply just a part of life.

Being the victims of attacks and unwelcome sexual aggression seemed almost an acceptable part of their past. This makes me angry when I think about it. Mostly because I have sisters,nieces, and a mom.

If you sit with a girl and listen to her stories you’ll grow a deeper understanding as to why women seemed so “intuitive” about men. They need to be.

Consider how many strange men they encounter through out their lives.

I'm glad I'm not a girl sometimes...

Realize this: you’re big, she’s small. She knows this and puts herself into a very vulnerable situation when going on a date with you.

Stop taking her vulnerability for granted.

Why does this matter?

Well if you ever expect a woman to open up to you and become physically and emotionally vulnerable she will need to have a level of trust with you that most guys don’t even think about. The fear she has deep in her body is based upon real life experience, as well as artifacts from her prehistoric brain.

The cave-woman who survived and reproduced learned which dudes to avoid and which dudes to trust. If she didn’t she wouldn’t survive to have kids, who had kids, who had you.

Pregnancy is another life-threatening danger women face that we guys don’t.

These are just SOME of her fears when opening up to a new guy.

When I first started dating this never even occurred to me.

Mostly because I was so self absorbed with my own fears and desires that it didn’t occur to me that her fears would be so different than mine.

When you approach a woman for the first time, and she doesn’t know you, she has very real defense mechanisms that will help her keep safe from the likes of you. You need to be very aware of this so that you can act accordingly AND so that you don’t take offense.

If you’re acting creepy, slimy, or questionable in some way, shape, or form, she’ll filter you out as being unsafe or “questionable.”

She's a bitch because of creepy guys... don't be offended.

Here are ways you might be acting creepy (when you first meet her):

• Staring from across a room but not approaching.
• Asking uncalibrated questions (“What kind of underwear are you wearing?”)
• Inappropriate jokes.
• Laughing too loud, and too often.
• Uncomfortable body language like shifting around, chewing your finger nails, or any bizarre postures.
• Uncomfortably close body language.
• Over bearing eye contact with no smiling.
• No teeth smiles are kind of creepy.
• Any smile where the eye’s don’t also smile. (Fake Smiles)
• Touching inappropriately – such as suddenly touching her for the first time 30 minutes into your conversation. This also includes touching her too often, and in her erogenous zones without invitation (belly, face, breasts, ass, upper legs, etc.)
• Bragging.
• Giving too many compliments, especially about her physical features.
• Overly sexual body language, comments, or behavior.
• Acting awkward in any way.
• Inventing and discussing future plans together.
• Trying to win her affections by buying her and her friends drinks, or any outwardly obvious flaunting of money.

Here are ways you might be acting creepy (on the first date):

• Disclosing too much information. Keep private matters private at first.
• Smothering her with interest before a real relationship has been given an opportunity to develop: this includes love letters, too many emails, phone calls, displays of affection, etc.
• Acting possessive or overly protective. She’s not yours, don’t act like she is.
• Dropping by unexpectedly and uninvited.
• Showing a lack of emotional control (Outbursts of anger, fear, or sadness.)
• Showering her with gifts and expensive meals.
• Hitting on her friends, or other girls in front of her.

There are many physical, emotional and financial risks that women take when dating that you should consider. Women have real reasons to be very selective about the men they date and have sex with. Don’t be offended. Don’t be jaded. And don’t be creepy.

Be understanding, sincere, honest, and fun.

Being FUN will overrule her feelings of fear every time.

~ Robby

P.S. The next part of this series is called “She fears social judgment?”

P.S.S. Did any of this make sense? Ask me questions in the comments below.

Top Photo Credit: SuicideGirls.com – Pin-Up Punk Rock and Goth Girls