She’s waiting for you to make the first move… quit being a pussy.
Q: Guys… do you always want the girl to make the first move?
I want to know why guys don’t make the moves anymore?
A: We’re living in a time of feminized boys - men who have no proper tribal leadership from their absent fathers, and so are left feeling helpless, nervous, and lacking masculine power.
It’s unfortunate and sad really.
If you’re a masculine woman (I don’t mean a manly woman) then you’ll feel very comfortable leading a man, taking him by the hand, and getting what you want.
But from my experience most women prefer being very feminine, while I prefer being very masculine.
There are still plenty of men out there who are willing to step up and be MEN, but you’ll just have to look harder.
To all the boys out there who don’t know how to find their masculine energy, read anything written by David Deida ( link )
~ Robby
Why do today's super models all seem to approximate the physique of adolescent boys?
Do all Abercrombie and Fitch models seem gay?
Q: What do women find most attractive in a guy, what catches her eye or what would she like her guy to be doing?
A: Getting the girl isn’t about what you’re doing, or what you’re saying – it’s about who you’re BEING.
Be fun, be honest, be sincere, have your own opinion (especially if she disagrees with it) and you’ll discover women will suddenly start noticing you.
If you want to get a woman hooked on you then you must learn to make her “feel” things – if you’re boring, bland, or overly agreeable, you’ll be easily forgotten as a friend. But if you invoke an emotional reaction within her, she’ll be thinking about you all night (even if she’s mad at you.)
Make her laugh and she’ll FEEL.
Make her mad and she’ll FEEL.
It’s really all the same.
Once she’s mad or glad, then turn around and suddenly be sincere, sweet and insightful.
Flirting is all about teasing and tension – the art of making her FEEL you.
~ Robby
Today’s top Thumbnail is from this photographer.
13 Responses
Pretty much gotta agree with you on the first question and i must admit i never, ever, though I’d say something like that but:
Maybe my so-called father would have been good for something after all…
The change of society might be part of ‘us’ not understanding that we should become more masculine again. (Wow, this sounds so weird assuming that i myself might be to feminine, haha
)
The 2nd question is nothing i shall really comment on. It’s the essence of what you’re teaching and should be understood by everone who’s reading your blog
so I take it you are completely against assertive, aggressive Women Robby? You prefer to be All Macho?
Assertive women are fantastic because they help connect with guys who won’t make the first move. Plus it’s nice dating a woman who gets her own shit done. But when it comes to the bedroom I prefer to be the driver. That’s just how I roll.
But there are plenty of relationships where the dynamics work best with the woman being assertive and the man being submissive, expressive and feminine. It just depends on your personality as a guy and what you naturally prefer. From my experience you’ll find that many women are assertive but are still more comfortable being submissive and feminine around their main man.
Macho’s got nothing to do with being assertive or confident. Macho is an over compensation for insecurities. It’s bravado and fake. That’s not what I’m talking about.
I love women who make the first move and ask men out, take the initiative, do the pursuing or chasing, but that does not mean I am always passive, for the most part, I take the initiative and ask women out, approach them because I have to, not because I want to. Instead of complaining about wanting to change society’s contructs, status quo’s, it’s better to adapt to it. It’s like people say “it’s the Law of the Jungle”, time to adapt to the Harsh Terrain.
Good point. The man with the most options up his sleeves tends to “win.” Being adaptive is a great quality!
Women are the Gatekeepers, Men are the Keymasters
I don’t think there anything wrong about models with adolescent bodies, in fact according to your theory about how attraction is hard-wired in our genes and evolution, adolescent boys are actually supposed to be men and they are supposed to be attractive to females as well as men.
Remember that in our genes and in your evolution there is no such a thing as “adolescence”. It’s an invention of modern times. According to researches we’re the most attractive to the opposite sex then we will ever be in our life, at the age of 16.
So it’s not like you suddenly are confident, firm and have personality arbitrarily at the age of 18 or 20 as something magical happened within you (while actually physiologically nothing happens at the age of 18) and therefore there’s no reason why a teenager should be weak, insicure, needy and what not and no reason why a teenager should be seen as a baby and having no attractive qualities.
Models have teenager bodies because that’s what females are attracted to: lean youthful physiques not bulky physiques. If you look at the most attractive classical bodies, like the statues of Apollo, you’ll see the attractive physique was very lean, streamlined and youthful not big and large.
I don’t ever recall saying that adolescent boys are supposed to be attractive to women. But you’re right about adolescence being “man-made” … when the reality is that boys are boys until they hit puberty, and by the time they’re sixteen they’re about as changed as they’re going to get chemically.
But there’s two types of attraction we can talk about… physical attraction, and emotional attraction.
Physical is what you feel when you see a girl across a room with a mini skirt and great legs. Emotional is something we might refer to as “as crush” or “love” or some other deeply emotional feeling. Men and women can feel this type of attraction just by texting or emailing without ever having met, and without knowing what the other person looks like.
I suspect I wasn’t very clear in this article about what I meant by “masculine” energy and expression. I’m not talking about a guy with a hairy chest eating raw meat and pumping steroids and weights. That’s not masculine in of it’s self. That’s simply a physical expression of energy. Weight lifting can be very feminine when it’s meant to better express and improve your physical appearance, instead of your physical endurance. “How will this make me look” is feminine – “How much can I lift until I pass out” is masculine.
When I talk about “masculine” energy I’m not talking about boys and men, I’m talking people who specifically are trying to seek emptiness, freedom, conclusion. Masculine seeks to be empty. To conclude projects, meet timelines, and finish stuff. It’s about structure, and rules, and completeness. To be done.
Feminine energy is about the ever changing expression of mood, and feelings – like the weather. Most arts are very feminine – music, painting, singing, dancing. It’s all about expression. It’s about being filled up – with love, or attention, or food, or life (pregnant.)
And men and women ARE different in this regard simply because our hormones dictate how we feel most of the time.
The average masculine guy is going to want to relax. He seeks sex because he loves the challenge, the sexual combat, and the climax and the release. Sports are like this too – fighting, and then completion with a winner and loser. It’s over.
The average feminine woman wants to keep talking, wants to keep things moving, forever. She likes sex because she wants to be taken. While men want to take. She wants to be filled up, and he wants to release into her.
Read This: http://www.shamanicattraction.com/blog/2010/11/masculinity-vs-femininity-vs-life-purpose/
Finally… only 16 year old girls think 16 year old boys are attractive. 25 year old women think 16 year old boys to be… gross. They might be pretty, but they’re not men yet. It takes years to mature mentally and socially to a degree that helps women see past your exterior. Yes, 16 year old boys are fit and lean, but they’re immature and far less masculine then their 25 year old counter parts.
What women do you know who will choose Beeber over Clooney? Only a 16 girl, or a gay 16 year old guy.
By the way – in case you’ve never wondered I’ll explain something to you…. gay men and women run the fashion industry so everything related to fashion will have passed through their preferences. Gay men will often prefer the feminine appeal of very young men (male fashion models look girly, thin, and hairless…) And gay women will also prefer the appeal of feminine boys, or super skinny women who look androgynous.
Don’t believe me? Try reading this: http://www.newtimes.co.rw/print.php?issue=14398&print&article=2945&week=8
Good luck.
There are many gay guys who attract lot of women, for those reasons you always talk about. They’re confident, they’re being attractive not friendly, they’re not clingy or needy and are firm and lead interesting lives.
So it’s not even about being manly, doing manly stuff or playing violent sports or looking masculine or having a full beard or not liking ballet and drama movies; it’s just about having self-confidence and not a clingy and weak personality.
That’s what I’ve always liked about your site that makes it so different from all the other machoist PUA nonsense and would also allow a teen to attract girls or seduce the girl of his life because having muscles, a certain look, a certain age, a full beard or a full time job wasn’t the point; the point was being confident and not oppressing girls acting needy.
I’m young but also invalid because I have an heart condition and often have to use a wheel chair or are bed bound for weeks. And still I think that doesn’t make me weak, because the weakness that girls despise is not being unable to walk without a chair or being hairless, skinny and young looking but being weak-willed and weak-confident when relating with others.
That’s why I think the sarcasms about homosexuals or teenager boys or men with soft features they were born with and can do nothing about was not needed, because that’s not the point. Am I wrong?
Dude, you’re right on.
1) I have no idea why I feel so angry towards fashion ads that glamorize feminine looking (thin, frail) dudes. Obviously I should ask myself why I even care.
2) You’re totally right about “getting the girl” … it’s not about acting manly, or being big and muscled. It’s not about pickup lines or acting cocky.
3) I love that you don’t see yourself as “weak” simply because your body is challenging you. Strength isn’t all about muscles, and girls know this best of all.
4) When I talk about attracting girls I don’t mean to make it sound like a guy has to be “masculine” to get the girl.
But I HAVE found that most girls/women respond more favorably to men who express certain masculine traits:
- bravery (risking rejection while talking to girls he doesn’t know)
- confidence (calm behavior, being relaxed in an unease situation)
- showing signs of leadership (giving direction to others in order to get things done)
- willing to lead (ask her out, suggest a place to eat, picking her up)
- escalating (taking her by the hand when he feels ready, kissing her, hugging her, touching her, dating her, marrying her, etc.)
The men who take action, and have direction in their lives, are the “masculine” types of men who women are more likely to feel attraction towards. Men who like dramatic movies, ballet, or who are musicians, actors, or nurses can still be “masculine” in an attractive way.
Thanks for the great comments! I need more guys like you on here…
~ Robby
Its not because of “feminized men”, its because the penalties for making the wrong move are a lot larger.
We live in a misandric culture that says its ok to explode in anger, or to humiliate, ridicule or embarrass a guy if he makes the wrong move.
In the past women were taught to be nice-girls and let guys down nicely… This was a sort of a training that helped girls in the end. By letting a guy down nicely, you made him more willing to make a move on the next girl, who MIGHT actually be interested in him.
Today however women are told that your inner-feelings are to be expressed, and “niceness” is a patriarchal value – treat men like crap if they’re not your type.
Guys can only take so many “talk to the hand” gestures before deciding that making moves is not worth it.
Misandry is the hatred of men or boys, like misogyny is the hatred of women or girls.
I can agree that our society has some strange aspects of misandry that we allow, or possibly don’t even notice.
But what ever.
It doesn’t matter if some women are rude and dismissive. Who cares? If you don’t like being treated poorly, avoid those women. They will end up alone and unhappy.
Instead, stop taking rejection so personally and focus on yourself. Why are you so desperate for that girl to like you? Why does it matter if she doesn’t give you the attention you’re asking for?
Then men who are most happy are the men who choose wisely what to be upset about.
I suggest most guys ignore women who ignore them, and focus on those rare beauties who don’t.
Your happiness depends on what you focus on, so make the most of your efforts.
Ignore them all! Leave that stupid , unbalanced and double-standard game
to idiots. How can you defend this game? Look at the posts! Can’t you see
a problem here. Tis game is begging for trouble… and troubled people.