Mike Masters is today’s Guest Guru. He comes to us from www.MikeTheMasterDater.com where he writes a blog helping women with dating and men. I’ve always liked his style of writing AND his great advice…
Here is an email I got from a reader recently:
How do you get rid of someone you just met or hooked up with, and you have told them that you don’t want a relationship? Of course you can ignore them, but that makes you look like a dick. Saying your too busy or I don’t think it’s a good idea to hang out usually makes the other person mad. Saying, “lets just be friends”
usually ends with the other person taking you up on that offer and I don’t like that either.
It’s like I always say, you don’t pay hookers for sex, you pay them so they leave and never come back or contact you. – John
My response
It’s rough but you have to actually tell her VERY CLEARLY that you are not interested in what she is interested in. This can be done in a nice way so you don’t get labeled a “dick” but inevitably it won’t be very fun. Get used this though because this won’t be the first time you will have to do it.
The reason this happens is because needy girls hear what they wish to hear and don’t catch on when you say, “I am not interested in dating anyone right now.” What these women hear is, “I am telling you I am not interested but I imagine you could change my mind if you clung to me like herpes and demanded a relationship after some bad drunken sex.”
Good luck John and choose better next time.
– Mike
Is this guy a dick?
I hate to admit it but I have made similar comments many times. Although the closest I had ever been to a prostitute was a toothless homeless woman that offered to give me and my friend a blowjob. “I do boff ya fo twenny dallar,” we both were repulsed although I was tempted to talk her down to ten.
Clearly John isn’t serious but why would he say this?
Girls can be fucking terrifying
I would say for the majority of guys, girls are pretty scary creatures. A girl can walk up to a guy and start screaming her ass off. “You fucking bastard!! How could you go and fuck her too!!” If a guy started yelling at me, I would pick up the closest piece of furniture and brain him with it, but the psycho girl would probably be safe from any Ikea trauma. This has a lot to do with why John is afraid to be honest with this girl but it is no excuse.
A guys knee jerk disgust after sex
Since guys often get hijacked by their genitals many end up sleeping with girls that they really shouldn’t. When they wake in the morning to find a nude hairy garden gnome snuggled up to them they feel an enormous sense of disgust and want nothing more than to bolt.
This is why guys/girls should never… hook up with someone they don’t think is attractive, unless of course she/he is wealthy and you might get a car out of it.
Fighting the urge to run screaming
I remember an Indian girl my roommate hooked up with. She was cute, fun and had great big boobs. The only problem was that she wouldn’t leave… after a night of heavy drinking I woke at 11 and she was in the kitchen cleaning. This was cool but apparently my roomy and her had been up since 8 and she wouldn’t go home. When she wasn’t looking my roommate stared at me wide eyed mouthing, “She won’t get the fuck out!!” jabbing his thumb at the front door.
Oops
She pretty much nuked her welcome at the house and he ended up telling her she had to leave because his jealous girlfriend was going to be there soon. This was all fucked up and I blame both of them. She should have tried to control her needy desires to posses my roommate and my roommate should have weathered the storm a bit better and been honest.
Back to John’s email
So do guys only want a girl they can hump like my neighbor’s horny poodle does to my cat? Are men only concerned with sex, throwing girls away like they might an abandon tampon in their bed?
Guys want sex of course but girls must understand that even the most elusive guy inevitably ends up with a girlfriend/wife. What did this girl do different than most girls?
The girls that are attractive even to the players
I imagine that most girls wouldn’t necessarily want to land a player but often understanding the extreme will help you understand the point. The girl that lands the player is the opposite extreme of the girl that is kicked out after a night of sex.
The most attractive girl…
• never pursues
• is cautious about sex but not obnoxious
• is respectful enough pay for dinner/dates half the time
• doesn’t hook up with guys out of her league (great way to get used)
• plays the game on her turf not his
• kicks him out in the morning
• has her own life and does not need a guy to fulfill her
• accepts and understands that guys are sexually driven and is damn good in bed herself
Guys… Stop screwing girls you don’t want to hang out with the next day.
Girls… Sex does not equal relationship, no matter how nice he seems the next day.
Mike writes a blog for women at mikethemasterdater.com
3 Responses
Great post Mike, thanks for the great article!
Great post! This is why I maintain that men like “Rules” girls, despite verbal objections to girls who “play games”… or maybe they just don’t like it when the game’s being played on them
the reason why a lot of guys would pay a hooker because it’s simple, there is no conversation involved, no leading involved, don’t have to be a leader or follower, no initiation involved, it’s just a quick bam wham and thank you mam. You don’t need “game”, no social skills or conversation skills, no confidence required, no ambition or drive to succeed required, just cash away and you are done. It’s simple.