QUESTION:

How do I tell if a flirtatious girl is REALLY flirting?

I’m an freshman in high school and there is this girl who seems to be “friendly” to every dude. If a shy girl was acting like this you would know they like you.

But it’s hard to tell. Today she was talking to me and playfully “flirting”. I’m trying to determine if she truly likes me. I felt a true flirt vibe that could have just been in my imagination.

Also do you have any tips on what to do next?

ANSWER:

I’m going to tell you a secret that really successful men understand before they choose the women they date: it doesn’t matter if she’s flirting or even remotely interested.

The only thing that matters is if you’re into her.

Look at it like this…

Scenario A) She’s flirting because she thinks you’re cute. So you decide you’re going to escalate and you start flirting back and making more conversation with her, and over time you tease her and make her laugh. And she’s hitting your arm and playfully teasing you too. And you escalate and get her out for dinner, and things go great.

Scenario B) She’s flirting but not really into you. So you decide you’re going to escalate and you start flirting back and you do everything you would do in scenario A. And over time you win her interest and you’re dating.

Can you see how it doesn’t matter how she feels about you? She’s like the weather… perhaps right now she’s cold and windy. But if you wait around long enough eventually she’ll warm up and brighten.

So wait and escalate. Always escalate.

If she’s REALLY not into you she’ll pull away and then you can move on.

It’s our ego and our insecurities that make us “wait and see” hoping to get a really big sign that she’s interested first. But this makes us look and feel weak and lazy and lacking confidence.

Test out those huge balls of yours and risk rejection, it’s going to be okay, I promise.

~ Robby