Today’s lesson? Sometimes you have to tease her to please her.
Do I still have a chance or should I just forget her?
Can a girl like a guy if he’s irritating? Not in a serious way, just in a casual fun way..
A little background: I’m asking this because I like this friend of mine.. and I’m usually the supporting and nice guy type, but sometimes I tease her. She was good friends with me before but nowadays she’s getting closer to another guy… he’s not the nice guy type and he teases her a lot more often. I’ve seen her get irritated for his teasing too.. but she’s not as close to me as before… I don’t know why….
We used to chat a lot for 3 to 4 months almost everyday… now she doesn’t anymore. Only once in a blue moon she messages me.. what’s going on here? Do I still have a chance or should I just forget her and move on? Is there anyway I can get close to her again?
1) Teasing Is Okay.
Teasing is a type of flirting. Attraction comes from tension, and teasing someone creates tension.
Just realize this: teasing a girl is different from teasing a guy friend.
We tease our guy friends by making fun of them where they’re weak. “Dude, eat some more cake, fatty.” It’s our way of challenging each other to be better men. It’s healthy when done with the intent of friendship and comradeship. We want to pick each other up so we challenge eachother… that’s what we guys do. It’s our way of saying, “I love you” without it seeming weird. But really, that is weird, isn’t it?
But when teasing a girl you can ONLY tease her where she’s confident and strong, NOT where she’s weak and insecure.
This is a HUGE difference and very important when flirting or teasing a woman.
So, you should only tease her about things she’s already super confident about, like possibly her fashion sense. “Wow, that’s a HUGE purse! You hiding a midget in there?” Or, “Wow, you are so short and tiny. I can’t decide if you’re super cute or kinda creepy.”
2) Don’t Be So Passive Next Time.
Girls don’t want to wait 3 or 4 months for a guy to make a move. After a month of flirting and teasing she was probably tired of waiting for you to make a move. And really, why should she wait? She can safely assume you’re just friends at that point. (Here’s how to escape the friend’s zone.)
3) Don’t Be The Nice Guy.
There is a big difference between being the “nice guy” and the “good guy.”
Nice guys are usually acting nice in order to get something… approval, attention, etc. Women see these guys as annoying and fake. Acting nice can be a form of manipulation.
Instead I’d suggest striving to be the “good guy.” This is the guy who teases his friends and often seems distracted, but in the end he always makes the right choices, always backs his friends, and is always reliable.
The good guy will tell you the truth of the matter without worrying about hurting your feelings because he’s more authentic, honest and sincere.
Be a good guy, not a nice guy.
Women feel deep trust with a guy who’s always honest and will avoid the “nice guy” when she fears he’s being fake.
4) Now What?
Your best chances of getting her back are doing three things:
A) Give her distance and space. Don’t text her more than she text’s you.
B) Every few weeks invite her out to do something awesome and fun. This is like dating except don’t ever call it dating. Notice I said every few weeks instead of every other day… this gives her the gift of missing you.
C) Escalate. Don’t wait around for months just flirting. On your second “date” take her by the hand, be more physically affectionate (don’t grope her), help her body get used to you touching her in a safe way, then after you both share a funny laugh kiss her. Always be escalating.
She’ll either be into it, or she won’t. But at least you’ll be taking attractive confident action, instead of being friendly and boring.
Good luck dude!
P.S. I really dig into what attraction is and how to create it (pages 10-21) in my book.