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Question:

Help, I still love my ex?

My EX dumped me last sunday, and I still love him!

He dumped me over the phone and said we are more friends than a couple. He has later said its because of the distance and age gap (im 18 and he is 27.)

I cant get over him. I have tried and tried but I cant, everyone I have spoken to have said not to let him win and to be strong but i can’t. I just want to be cuddled up with him. Over christmas he was talking about getting married and I don’t know why he has done this too me.

I have even thought about hurting myself to get away from it.

Everything reminds me of him. I cry myself to sleep every night. I have tried to get out and look for someone else but every time I lay in bed I just think of him. Everyone has said he is not good enough for me but I loved him.

What can I do to help myself?

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Don't trust your feelings... use your head!
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Answer:

Think of it like this. I’m a big fat guy. I know that eating chocolate cake is not good for my well being. I WANT to eat that cake. I desire it. I LOVE IT!

But I choose to not eat it. Why? Because I love myself enough to know what’s good for me.

Instead I choose something else that tastes good, and which also enriches my life with energy, power, strength, and longevity.

You are the fat kid who wants cake.

You seem confused between loving him and being with him.

It’s okay to love him, but that is NOT a reason to be with him. Your love for him is natural, and will not suddenly fade just because you broke up last week. It takes time to heal.

As I lose weight my desire for chocolate cake fades, and my appreciation for myself grows. This is what will happen for you as well.

Of course you can’t realize this right now because all you see and feel is hurt. It’s almost impossible for you to imagine what it’ll feel like when you’re strong and happy. What you feel in this moment is what’s painting all of your thoughts. It’s like you’re drunk and you’re trying to do hard math… almost impossible under the weight of your current emotions.

Just have some awareness of your thoughts because if you sit at home thinking about him it’ll only hurt you more.

Instead you need to accept the breakup, appreciate the time you had together, and allow yourself the room to grow and mature and heal.

Thinking about him is like thinking about that chocolate cake when you can’t have it. STOP IT.

Remember: There’s nothing as good at helping you forget an ex as meeting someone new worth getting to know.

Love yourself until you meet someone new worth sharing your time with.
~ Robby

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