This is another case of Rejection Protection Syndrome …
I just screwed up with this girl… how can I reverse situation?
Ok, we dated once… but she is giving the signs she is not that interested… but she says I’m lovely after we met and she wants to take things slow.
But for me that is letting me down gently. Then she just went cold and I text her saying something like this, ”You know one thing I hate is flakiness, it doesn’t fit in with my personality, and especially since I respect people, only when they earn it, if your not bothered, I will get to know someone else, and I hope that you find someone who better suits your personality. take care x. ”
She has not texted me back… and I have asked her if she hates me now.
But she in not talking to me on facebook chat and I really like this girl.. is it none reversible?
Be brutally honest, I have had my ex of a few years finish me and I know its not as bad as that but I feel like sh*t now.
But I’m wondering if I did myself a favour before she rejected me.
She wasn’t that bothered about meeting me… I don’t think anyway, cos when I asked her yesterday about meeting me Saturday it wasn’t a yes, it was ‘‘oh, I’ll have to see if I have plans already and I’ll let you know ” kinda thing. And she doesn’t seem interested in text’ing as much.. and she didn’t even go for a kiss after date, it was more like an awkward hug.
Does it sound like she doesn’t like me in real person?
She was definitely giving you the signs that she’s not that interested, which is sometimes reversible.
BUT your added angry/emotional/insecure text message to her will likely have pushed her away too far to recover from.
I know it sounds like a penile disfunction, but it’s really just a symptom of something else I call Rejection Protection Syndrome (Read My Blog Post on it here.). Basically you reject her out of fear of her rejecting you. It’s a childish way of protecting your ego from hurt. Maybe she wasn’t into, or maybe she was. You’ll never know.
Pay attention to what she does, not what she says.
When a girl isn’t dropping her plans to make plans with you it means she’s not that into you.
The BEST response is to give her space while making sure that the time she DOES spend with you is FUN. You must touch her emotional buttons when you’re together… sometimes with flirting and teasing, and sometimes with unexpected mysteries and excitement.
How she FEELS when around you is what keeps her attracted.
If you’re boring, or weird, or dangerous, then she’ll push you away. If you’re patient, and fun, she’ll pull you in.
Don’t take it personally
Don’t let it hurt your feelings when she’s not really into you. Or, at least, don’t show it.
When she’s putting you second to her other plans, then realize she’s not hooked yet. Give her space, don’t respond with ultimatums and grumpy text messages. I think you know that now, so I’ll stop hammering on this point.
Learn something from this.
Emotional reactions to a woman don’t build attraction. Learn to let girls go when they’re not as into you as you’re into them. This is a skill that takes time, and maturity, and patience. But the pay off is that women will start to see you as more mature, and attractive, simply because you’re not falling all over yourself just because she’s super hot, or attractive, or fun.
The best repair you can do is to stop texting and messaging her. Give her space. Let it settle.
BUT stay fun and happy when you interact with her. If she messages you then keep it light and fun. Don’t apologize, don’t analyze, and don’t go all LOGIC on her. Don’t bring up the past, simply look to create NEW emotionally fun experiences with her, should she come back around.
By the way, you should be like this with every woman you meet, or break up with. Keep things happy – never regretful, angry, or bitter. Women can smell bitter all over you so get rid of it asap.
Good luck with the next girl, who’ll be more worth your efforts.
Today’s Top Thumbnail is from this amazing photographer.