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QUESTION:

I miss my ex girlfriend, its been two years, what should I do?

I don’t know why but I have dated 3 other girls after her, gone on blind dates, been out partying more and doing more things with my life, but I have stopped dating these girls because the more I date and go on blind dates the more I miss my ex girlfriend for who she was.

She has changed a bit … at least that is what she says to me, I don’t see it.

I see the deep down person she is and that is what I am attracted to, and the person who she is going to become. I was joking around with her about sex and she got pissed off with me and told me about her and her current boyfriend having sex and then the convo went on about me and dating other girls and how she thinks I should be ******* other girls and everything in between, and that I should focus on one girl.

I want a relationship, no lie … I told her,“I just can’t get into a relationship I want and that I feel like I have the ONE I have in my heart,” she said in response to that “you should just go out and be with a person you have fun with.”

I didn’t really respond to that, kinda ignored it because for me its not always about the fun I have with a person, its about who the person is and what I desire. And it just seems like we are just so distant compared to last year (we have been broken up for 2 years now).

Also, just so you know, she is very very very happy with her current relationship as she has told me and that she is frustrated that I am not happy for her or seem like it. For me I just want her to be happy, but at the same time my heart wants her … what should I do? I have been distant with her in some respect to protect myself and to find myself, but I want to be closer with her.

 

ANSWER:

I have two ideas regarding your question…

 

1) YOUR FEELINGS DONT MATTER.

It sounds like you think your feelings matter… at least in regards to dating and such. Specifically your feelings for your ex. It sounds like you’re waiting around with the expectation that you’ll stop caring about her so that you can “move on” to the next girl.

This isn’t always the case, so it’s time to acknowledge this.

It’s like getting married… you won’t suddenly turn gay and find all other women gross.

Your attraction for your ex is perfectly normal… and you should EXPECT IT!

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You might always find your ex attractive. Doesn't matter.

If you loved her at one time then OF COURSE you still will. Your feelings for her aren’t logical. So it’s illogical to be waiting for that to change, because they might not.

Instead you might want accept that you’ll always find her attractive. Just like, as a fat guy, I will always find pizza attractive.

The real problem isn’t that you still like her… it’s that you’re wasting time fighting these feelings AND you’re wasting time thinking about it, like it’s some sort of puzzle.

It’s not a puzzle.

There’s a reason you’re not with her anymore. Who cares what the reason is. It doesn’t matter. You’re not with her.

Hugs?

 

2) HEAL AND LET GO.

Your emotional body obviously had some injury when you two broke up in the past. The problem you’re having now is that you haven’t allowed your emotional body to heal… so when ever you’re with someone new you keep them at a distance… like you’re protecting the burned skin on your arm… meanwhile these new girls are left feeling confused and rejected.

I suggest you take some time for yourself… get yourself healed. Learn about YOU for a while. Learn what YOU want and need from life. Find your REAL like purpose and passions and start following them.

By the way… a Man on his Purpose is completely alluring to women. He’s not as distracted by her beauty and there’s something very attractive about that.

Plus, being your Purpose will help you heal faster! It keeps your mind busy and your heart happy. Two magical ways to heal past hurts.

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Find Your Purpose And Women Will Just Show Up.

 

Use your head.. not your feelings.

Your feelings will lie to you in order to get what they want… drama. Accept then ignore your feelings so that you can focus on what you KNOW. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you… you don’t deserve to be chasing some old girlfriend like a creepy stalker.

When ever you catch yourself sitting around like a pouty baby thinking about your ex, stop it. And immediately do something dramatically different… go golfing, jogging, get busy with close friends. Keep your mind so busy that you don’t have time to mull over past dramas. This way your brain gets something healthier to focus on.

Stop dreaming up scenarios where you some how end up with your ex.. this is silly, immature, and will only continue to hurt you. It feels good because you get to feel sorry for yourself, but ultimately you deserve better than that!

~ Robby

 

P.S. Like the girl in my blog today? You can find her and this photographer here.