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QUESTION:

I’d like to understand “friend before dating” situations.

I know that as a guy I don’t need much stimulation in order to want to have sex with a girl, but for girls it often takes forever to get in the mood for sex. I’ve noticed that most of the guys I know have met their girlfriend through friendships first. Can this be explained or justified? Also Why not simply be upfront with her feelings for a guy (whether she likes him or not)? Why do women feel the need to “Friend zone Guys (back-up/Tool guy)” before dating them, in other words?

People break-up often times whether the relationship involved friendship or not, why waste time?

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ANSWER:

Men don’t feel the same way about dating and sex than women because men don’t face the same dangers as women.

Dangers like:
– Rape
– Social Judgements (sluts, whores, rejection of friends, etc)
– Pregnancy

One main reason women can’t be as willy nilly about sex as men is because women face different safety concerns.

So the “friends first” is really just the time they need to confirm you’re not just looking to TAKE from her (take sex, attention, affection, etc) without any intent to GIVE BACK. They worry because there are plenty of dudes who are selfish dicks who lack empathy or common compassion.

As a man I would recommend you assume the “friends first” is the “dating” phase of the relationship.

She calls it “friends” but you can call it “dating” because it can look exactly the same – spending time together getting to know each other. During which time you treat her exactly as you would any date… flirting, teasing, having fun and constant sexual escalation.

During this “friends” phase you should be slowly escalating towards that first kiss. Escalating with all types of physical touch like hugs, hand holding, cuddling, whispering in ears, etc. The men who don’t continue to escalate end up permanently stuck in the Friend Zone… mostly because they’ve lacked the masculine intent and sexual escalation most women NEED to feel attraction.

By the end of the second or third date you should have tried kissing her.

I can tell from your comments that you’re frustrated with the “dating” phase of the sexual relationships you’re seeking… which implies that you’re not looking for a girlfriend or “getting to know her” … if this is true then just avoid women who want more than just sex.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting one-night stands, just don’t waste time with those women who DO want more than sex.

Hope this helps? 🙂

~ Robby

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