Why do I stop liking guys after they like me back? Why do I push guys away?
Every time I like a guy I focus so much on getting him to like me. And so far its always worked and he’s liked me back, but as soon as he tells me he likes me too, I stop liking him. Is this normal? None of my relationships have ever laster more than two months because I just always have to admit to myself and him that I don’t like him anymore no matter how hard I try to.
What can I do to commit to a guy instead of just liking “the game” of making him like me?
This is easy. Only date guys who aren’t really into you.
The problem you’re having is common for younger guys/girls… and I think it might come from awkward parenting (we learn how relationships should look and feel from our parents, so blame them.)
What’s likely happening is this…
Attraction is tension.
The more tension you feel for a guy, the more attraction you feel. You feel tension and you label it attraction.
But once you get a guy, and you KNOW he likes you too, the tension is completely gone. The mystery and the chase are completely erased.
Then it’s boring. This happens, especially, to girls who have a lot of options. If you’re hot and you know it then guys get really predictable real fast. And, of course, that’s boring.
So how can you prevent this?
I have three suggestions:
1) Look beyond the superficial feelings of attraction. Realize that boyfriends aren’t just jewelry that you show off to your friends. Because when your relationship is based only on attraction the relationship is doomed. It’s impossible to keep the tension/attraction high.. it waivers from high to low to medium over time.
This take maturity and experience which you’ll get with time. So don’t fret.
2) Realize that the BEST relationships are based upon love and rapport… and not JUST attraction. Love and rapport is something we LEARN to respect and desire and it SHOULD be taught to us by our parents and older siblings, etc.
If your parents are messed up then this might mess you up too… but it’s only temporary. You can relearn anything you WANT.
Rapport comes from closeness. It comes from sharing secrets. It comes from sharing stories and similarities. It brings feelings of connection. Warmth. When you REALLY connect with someone you feel familiar and safe. Like being alone with mom or dad.
It’s possible to connect with your boyfriend like you do with your best girlfriend if you make intimacy and connection a priority when you’re Man Shopping.
Appreciation for connection and trust comes with time. You simply might be too young to appreciate that yet.
3) Or simply date a guy who’s so awesome that he’s out of your league. This is a guy who has is hot, has his shit together, and who doesn’t fall all over himself just because you’re cute/hot. This is a guy who’s seeking a real woman of deep self esteem, value, and confidence. This is a guy who you’ll have to always be on your top game to catch and keep. This is a guy who would never cheat on you but who will also walk away if you turn into a bitch or jaded hooker. Know what I mean? It just might be a quality guy like this who you will NEVER find boring simply because he’s always got more options than you.
I’ve dated and talked with many hot girls and I’ve discovered that they get bored with average guys simply because they are overloaded with attention from all guys all the time. So instead of dating average guys you should try dating awesome guys.
I hope this helps!