QUESTION: What’s the best way for a guy to approach a girl? Is there a way which doesn’t appear to creepy? What about online?
What’s the best way for a guy to approach a girl? Is there a way which doesn’t appear to creepy? What about online?
1) Direct Is Fastest.
If you’re looking for speed I would recommend a “direct” approach… something you can deliver quickly, that implies you’re interested, but also gives you the breathing room to walk way if she’s crazy.
“Excuse me, I’m not sure if I should be doing this, but you TOTALLY seem my type… but I’ve heard Red Heads are notorious for being angry and great ball busters. Is there any truth to that?”
What you’re saying is, “Hey, I dig your style but I’m not totally sold yet… sell yourself a little more…” This tells her you’re ballsy enough to say “hi” but not so over the top that you’re Low Value.
And putting a time constraint on your interaction helps make her to relax because she knows you’re not looking to hang around and eat up her time.
“Unfortunately I’m in a hurry to be somewhere but I just HAD to come over and say hi. I shouldn’t be doing this because I hear Red Heads have fiery tempers but you totally seem my type and I love a woman who’s passionate. My names Robert, it’s nice to meet you.”
2) Indirect allows more time.
An indirect approach allows you more time to explore her personality before getting her number AND invites her to puzzle whether you’re cool or not … it adds a tiny bit of mystery and playfulness. A good indirect approach is to simply start a conversation with her and over time start to flirt.
Here’s an example in a clothing store change area:
“Excuse me, do you work here? No? Oh, well perhaps you can help me any ways… Do these jeans make my ass look fat? I need a girls opinion…”
A facebook (non-dating social website) example might be:
“Hey, I totally don’t know you, but you have awesome fashion sense and I need a girls opinion on something… unfortunately all my guy friends don’t get fashion so I’m desperate. Any who… if I wear white shoes with my jeans do I HAVE to also wear a white belt? I’m not entirely sure I can sell the ‘white belt and white shoes’ look…
Thanks in advance, Robby.
P.S. Are you wearing leg warmers in that photo!?”
3) Creepy guys lack calibration.
The typical creepy guy stares without smiling, or only sees women as meat. And women can pick up on this a mile away.
Instead you need to practice and experience chatting and being friendly with as many people as possible. Being non-creepy comes from your delivery and intent. Make your delivery “fun” and your intent “sincere.”
If your intent is to meet her and have fun then you’ll never seem creepy.
If your intent is to get laid, then you might be come across as creepy.
In order to not come across as creepy you need to practice your delivery. And practice means you’re going to have to start talking to EVERYONE you meet: guys, girls, old people, ugly people, etc.
Awkward dudes who don’t know how to relax during a conversation are the one’s who get labeled as “creepy.” Its mostly because they don’t smile or laugh or have social calibration… and all of those things come from practice and experience.
So come up with some opening line and start using it on everyone you meet while out shopping.
While shopping in the grocer: “Excuse me… I’m totally out of my element here… do you know the difference between a Yam and Sweet Potato? I can’t figure it out…”
While shopping at the mall: “Hey, you girls look like you have your selves really together! Can I get your insight on a fashion dilemma I have? If I buy white shoes, no sneakers, to wear with my casual jeans, does that mean I HAVE to wear a white belt too?! Because I just don’t know if I can pull off a white belt… I”m confused…”
Restaurant: “Do you girls eat here often? Ha! That totally sounded like a super smooth pickup line! Ignore that first sentence… any way, what I’m really wondering is if you’ve ever had the steak here.. is it any good?”
“Hey, do I have to wear a necklace with this shirt? Is it too much chest? I’m trying to avoid the douchbag look…”
You get the idea.
You’ll be surprised how people like talking and giving their opinion.
Then, once you’re super comfortable opening up a girl, or group of girls, then you need to learn how to escalate. Banter transitions to flirting.
Eventually you’re going to have to express your interest in her, that’s the only way to get her out on that first date.
I hope this helps you get started,