From the ladies: Guys, what’s the difference between girls you want to date and the girls you want to sleep with?
This is a fun question!
Here’s how I see it, from my “guy” point of view…
My sexual attraction for a girl can be completely superficial. This is an illogical attraction based on my base animal instincts. I don’t need to know her to want to touch her sexually.
My emotional attraction is based more on my intellectual and emotional rapport with a girl, and this only comes after having gotten to know her. If we don’t connect or share just the right amount of ideals and such, then I won’t develop an emotional attraction.
The perfect girlfriend, of course, is a girl who is attractive physically AND emotionally.
BUT there are plenty of young guys who are only interested in how a girl makes him look (seeking his friends approve, etc) so they’ll date any girl who’s hot no matter how bad a match she is.
AND we guys have another trick up our sleeves… we don’t need to connect with a girl emotionally before we sleep with her. Many of us can have casual sex without any intent of long term intimacy.
Girls tend to want to sleep with guys they’re growing attached to, and guys tend to grow attached to girls they’re sleeping with. It’s almost backwards…
What Do You Want As A Girl?
I suspect you get all this already, so here are my final thoughts…
If you’re a girl who wants a guy who’s into MORE than just sex then REMOVE sex from the table until you FEEL his need for intimacy and connection.
How can you tell?
Well realize something… both types of guys WILL want to sleep with you, of course. But the dude that wants MORE than just sex will show you.
The guy seeking just sex will keep everything superficial… he’ll stick to compliments about your looks and your body and he’ll always be trying to get you into bed as fast as possible. And he’ll be grumpy when you resist him.
The guy seeking a relationship will do more than try to buy you gifts and pay you compliments. He’ll want to have long conversations late into the night. He’ll also respect any sexual boundaries you provide… and you SHOULD have boundaries… it’ll make him respect you more and it’ll AMP up his attraction for you.
If he’s not truly seeking rapport and connection then he’s likely trying to GET something from you… like sex or approval or both.
If you want to be the type of girl guys WANT a relationship with… then have clear and healthy sexual and emotional boundaries.
Being the one-night-stand girl makes you sexually attractive because it implies having sex with you will be easy. BUT it also implies that keeping you as a girlfriend will be a struggle (because we’ll assume the next guy will catch you just as easily.)
Being the girl who’s fun YET who keeps guys at a distance, displays that you are selective and have boundaries.
This is VERY attractive.
Making it had for the average guy to get past your defenses helps display your value, and makes your boyfriend realize you’re not going to be stolen by the next hot guy you meet.
Being selective, having boundaries, and being fun are the most attractive GIRLFRIEND qualities you can display. Plus, of course, being fit and looking your best.