Why is aggressive better than passive?
I never really understood how if I seem passive, reserved or withdrawn, people hate me or just ignore me and aren’t willing to even consider me human in contrast to people who are obnoxious, hurt others all the time and are altogether ambivalent. Girls get into relationships with abusive guys who beat them up and everything, yet they wouldn’t even consider being together with a guy who doesn’t control them.
You’re asking about extremes (withdrawn vs. aggressive) while not realizing that women hate both of these types of men.
What women respond to is assertiveness, not aggression or arrogance.
Also, women don’t want to be controlled, they want to be lead. Assertive guys LEAD, while passive guys need leading.
Her instincts, before knowing you, tell her that you’re going to be high maintenance, and the last thing a woman want’s to do is babysit. If she thinks you’re withdrawn she’s going to FEEL like you’d be a lot of effort, and therefore not worth getting to know.
But, if you seem expressive, assertive, and fun, she’s going to go out of her way to get to know you. That’s why assertive guys win… they appear more fun, less work, and more interesting.
So learn how to be comfortable being assertive and you’ll find that it’ll afford you the skills to be both quiet and retrospective while still masculine and powerful.
It may seem like women ignore passive guys, but this is because passive is boring. Why would women gravitate towards someone who’s withdrawn?
And it may seem like women are drawn towards aggressive guys, but you’re only seeing the surface of what’s REALLY going on. Compare the passive guy to the aggressive guy. If they’re the same in physical appearance the aggressive guy will always out compete simply because he’s taking action when the passive guy isn’t.
And one of the core behaviors of a guy who gets the woman he wants is a guy who is willing to escalate (read pages 72-75 in my book.)
Assertiveness isn’t about “aggression”, or “arrogance”… it’s about allowing yourself to have your own voice without worrying if others agree.
Arrogant men (who women hate) assume everyone else is wrong while assertive men (who women love) share their opinion without fear of being wrong while still being OPEN to being wrong.
Does that make sense?
By the way, masculine and confident men (who women love) don’t complain about how they’re not getting the girl while pointing fingers at more successful men while calling them names like “aggressive and obnoxious.”
Today’s top Thumbnail image is from here.