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QUESTION

Is it wussy for a guy to send his girlfriend good morning texts, text everyday and ask how her day has gone?

I’m not pushing for sex because she hasn’t dated many guys and I’m a virgin that only wants to sleep with one girl ideally (27 years old, long story). If she seems emotionally distant or unhappy I try to figure out why and talk about it. We have been dating a month and a half but usually meet 2-3 times a week only.

A female friend read on my phone that I told the girl to ‘sleep tight’ and said I sounded unmanly and desperate.

Do you think she’s right?

I’m 195 cm tall and work out at least twice a week and I’m not used to any woman calling me unmanly.

 

ANSWER

I can totally understand your concern. It’s super easy to smother a girl with attention when you’re really into her.

So don’t.

Find the line between seeking her approval and simply being a comforting boyfriend. And trust me… she can sense which energy you’re expressing based upon your text or phone call.

Here’s a text that sounds wussy: “Hey honey, is everything okay. Are you doing okay? Let me know if there’s anything I can do?”

Here’s a text that sounds comforting: “Hey shorty, I hope you’re still super cute!”

Always ask yourself this… “Am I sending her this text because I’m desperate for her to like me back or am I sending her this text because I love chatting with her?”
It’s really easy to be motivated by our insecurities, which often has the reverse effect of pushing away our partners…

1) The text you described above doesn’t actually sound wussy, it sounds fine. Ignore any female friends who are trying to bust your balls about it.

was i being wussy
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If she’s texting you mirror photos then she’s into you still.

2) If you’re feeling unsure how she feels about you then be honest with yourself about it. It’s OKAY to not know if she likes you as much as you like her. Accept that you don’t know. Accept that you’re an awesome dude, likely an awesome loving boyfriend, and that you DON’T need her to like you back.

Realize that if she’s WITH you then she’s WITH you.

Don’t become needy and desperate because you NEED her to show you how much she likes you.

3) When she’s being distant then you should give her the gift of missing you.

If you are always initiating text messages and she’s always just replying then you’re playing the role of the chasing boyfriend. And this can be a negative thing when she’s showing you she wants distance, or when her text’s back to you are cold.

So pay attention. By texting and staying in constant contact you might be killing her reasons to think about you.

When you constantly text a girl if can smother her. If her responses are short then that’s her trying to tell you to give her space!

If so then text her half as much as you currently do, and try to only text in response to something she’s done. Let half your text’s be in response instead of all of your texts being an initiator.

This will help turn the tides from you chasing her to her chasing you. And trust me, she’d rather be chasing you than the other way around!

4) You don’t have to have sex in order to build intimacy and connection. I’m glad you’re giving her the sexual boundaries she might need… but that doesn’t mean you should stop slowly escalating the sexual vibe of the relationship.

It’s okay to flirt and touch and connect without sex… besides, there’s all types of sexual energy you CAN exchange without using your genitals. 😉

5) I’ve found that keeping the dates down to 2 or 3 times a week helps keep a girls interests fresh. More then that (before you’re both deep into a relationship) can sour her attraction levels just because she’s seeing you so much. So pay attention to her interest levels… if her interest in you seems to go cold, then see her less often. It’s a mistake to try to see her more then she wants to.

When she leans away from you emotionally, you NEED to do the same thing!

Giving her space creates a vacuum between you two which will automatically draw her back to you.

6) If all else fails and she moves on then at least you can be proud of yourself for being an honest and sincere dude, which the next girl will surely appreciate.

7) Attraction is about tension. This can come from flirting and teasing and mystery. So if you text her less, see her less, BUT continue to be flirty and escalate, you’ll be giving her mixed signals… this is where the magic of tension comes from.

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Pick her up once a week and take her on an adventure!

It’ll invite her to wonder how you feel about her… which will put you into her thoughts again… and will invite her attraction towards you to balloon up. And that’s a good thing!

Hope this helps,
~ Robby

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