Q: Robby, I read some of your articles and I thought they were full of great advice.
In your article about how to get a girl you mention some great tips about attracting women. I am currently a virgin, never-kissed-a-girl, dateless guy, and I am wondering how I can change that.
I also wanted to know if you had any advice on how to not be the “stinky guy on the buss who can’t smell himself” because I think that I am that guy too. People seem to be coughing around me when I enter a room. If you could give me any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it.
A: Jake, I’ll give you some quick advice based on what I’m picking up on from your email…
The secret to dating beautiful women?
It’s that easy.
Any guy who’s learned to be highly social has discovered a secret that shy guy’s don’t understand – not only does nothing bad happen when a girl isn’t interested in talking with you, but it’s not really that hard to change her mind if you really want to.
Talk to any “natural” or any guy who’s AMAZING with women, and you’ll discover that ALL share something in common. Know what it is?
They’re all willing to chit-chat with anyone and most often they do.
I did this as a kid and I learned that people LOVE to socialize.
My problem was that when puberty hit I developed terrible acne for years, which made me pull back in on myself – and not until I got divorced did I reunite with my love for people.
SIDE-TOPIC: INNER GAME
If your MIND is your Garden, then the THOUGHTS and BELIEFS that you plant and nurture will grow as an expression of yourself. If you allow negative thoughts to hang around (“I’m too skinny… girls like big guys”) then your expression of yourself will be “I’m too skinny.”
That might mean that you over-eat causing yourself to get flabby and unhealthy. You might wear clothes that are too big so that you can hide your ribs. You might express poor body posture because you’re unconsciously trying to hide your body under your clothes. You’d be amazed at how these types of thoughts become expressed outwardly, but make no mistake… women NOTICE these expressions.
Women can FEEL how you FEEL because they’re empathic.
Tend to your garden.
Plant more fruit, and pull more weeds.
A simple exercise, when you’re willing to do it, is to write down the “weeds” of your beliefs… make a list of things you think about yourself that likely hinders your self-esteem. Then take a red pen, cross them out (like erasing them from reality) and rewrite them to become more empowering.
(I’ve included an example JPG.)
Shy guys suffer from ego problems… they’re so protective of their ego’s that they refuse to risk bruising it through social interactions.
This is sad really.
If you’re too shy to talk to women it usually means you’re too shy to talk to everyone.
The best steps to overcome this is to study books on the human ego, and to practice socializing with every human you meet… talk to the old man behind you, talk to the cashier, and go online and talk with people via social networking.
The next reason guys don’t meet more women is that they don’t escalate with the women they DO meet.
No matter how much a woman likes you, she’s not going to make the first move.
Or the second.
Or the third.
It’s your job as a man to LEAD her from the street to the bedroom, to the alter.
This means that every time you meet a girl worth getting to know you MUST make a date (don’t worry about getting her number, go straight to a meet-up.) Memorize a default line like this, “You know what? You’re fun! I know this cute little dessert place, let’s grab a coffee there tomorrow night at 6.”
If she says, “no thanks,” then simply say, “Ha! Fair enough.”
When you’re on a date it’s your job to kiss her mid-date (don’t wait till the end) right after she’s laughed hard at your lame joke. If you wait more then two dates to kiss her, then she’ll lose interest, and you’ll become over whelmed by the pressure. When you do nothing, you end up in the friends zone – the purgatory for men who refused to take action.
“He who hesitates masturbates.”
Nothing will teach you more about women then social experience.
You must force your body to experience interactions with women before you’ll get good at it.
I’ve said too much.
Keep me updated on your progress!
P.S. As for your problem with the coughing? It’s most likely that you either don’t shower enough or that you’re overly sensitive about how you smell which is causing you to wear TOO MUCH cologne. Stop wearing cologne for a few weeks and see if that makes any difference. This includes body sprays.
I love the questions guys, please keep them coming!
Today’s above thumbnail photo is from This Photographer.