Why do I treat this guy like crap?
8 months ago I slept with this guy, lets call him Mark. He was notorious for being a lady’s man, pretty boy.. bit of a slag to be honest lol.. I slept with him (not really knowing this nor him) and 8 months later, I somehow still have him hooked. He’s actually asked me to marry him twice. I think maybe because I was so off, is what made him so keen. Probably not used to it, lol.
He’s such a nice guy and loves me alot… he’s gorgeous and caring and would do, and does do, anything for me… (I don’t make him do rediculous stuff.)
I go thru phases with him and I just don’t know why.
He’s the first guy since my ex of 4 years (we split a year ago) and I go thru like a week where I just adore him… Then a week or a few days, where I push him away and can’t stand him being anywhere near me? WHY?! It’s doing my head in, but I genuinely get random rage for him lol.. Sometimes he even tries it on and I find myself physically repulsed.. But he’s gorgeous and most of the time I don’t.. I mean no one is repulsed by this man!
I talk down to him sometimes because I can, and because he takes it 🙁
I don’t want to be this horrible person anymore… I won’t commit to him, but at the same time, I’m not interested in other people. I keep telling him to walk, but he won’t. We fight all the time because he can’t stand that I’m not his and doesn’t like me being round other guys. To the point where he’ll fight people to stay away from me. We fall out for a few days. Then I come crawling back after ignoring his constant texts/calls!
Why do I behave like this?
I actually know the answer to this because I’ve seen and experienced it first hand.
Women, unknowingly, will test the man she’s with. This “testing” will never stop, but it WILL get worse the more her man fails these tests.
Strange I know.
How can a woman know if her man is really who he says he is? How can she learn to trust his masculine power, his integrity or character?
She tests him.
And mostly she does this completely unconsciously.
Most girls have no idea they’re even doing this. Hence your confusion.
What’s happening for you is this – you like this guy BUT you don’t truly trust his masculine self. This doesn’t mean you think he’s going to cheat, or that he’s going to hurt you. What you don’t trust is that he’s going to keep you safe, or that he’s going to always be who he says he is. Again, this could all be happening unconsciously. Instead all you have to work with are your feelings. And your feelings are saying “I’m frustrated with him… grrrrrr.”
So, while feeling confused (you like him yet you’re frustrated that he’s such a push-over… secretly you want him to be more assertive and masculine) you “test” him by becoming grumpy and bitchy.
What does this test?
It tests his boundaries.
It tests his composure.
It tests his patience.
It tests his response to your negative energy.
How does he pass this test?
He stays composed. He immediately makes it clear that this bitchy behavior is not okay, and he reminds you of his boundaries.
How does he fail this test?
He apologizes for things he’s not responsible for… he pussyfoots around you, and ultimately lets you walk all over him.
A man who’s really into a girl will often let her act badly towards him simply because he thinks that standing up for himself will risk the relationship. He puts her on a pedestal but then can’t understand why she’s resenting him for it.
From my experience women don’t want to be on a pedestal, away from their lover; they want to be equal to each other.
Ultimately you want to respect your man, but how can you respect a guy who’s willing to let you treat him this way. Your mood changes test his ability to “be a man” but he’s failing. This only encourages you to further test him… perhaps because you’re hoping that he’ll either leave (as he should) or that he’ll suddenly put you in your place (which he should.) Because you could at least respect him for that.
So you’re being a dick simply because your emotional body wants your boyfriend to have a backbone, have some balls, and be more MASCULINE.
Ready anything by David Deida to really get a grasp on what all this means.
I hope this helps a little…