I love answering people’s Dating Questions… so keep them coming in!
Q: (Female Age:25 to 29)
When my boyfriend checks out another girl does that mean he finds her more attractive?
I am a pretty girl, a lot of guys would love to date me or be with me. I am attractive. However, every time my boyfriend sees a girl he finds pretty, big boobs, nice ass, or pretty face, he checks them out in front of me.
Does this mean he is not satisfied with me physically, and does it mean he thinks these other girls are more attractive then I?
He tells me its just something he can’t help. Does this mean he is likely to cheat if he can’t control this behavior?
He tells me I am the most beautiful to him but I don’t understand when he displays this behavior.
Mostly I want to know if he thinks these girls are better, more beautiful then I am.
A: Two things…
1) Being in LOVE with you doesn’t mean he’s now gay. He’ll always find other women attractive. Always. Especially women younger than you.
There’s nothing to be done because attraction isn’t a choice. Our bodies want what they want.
This is NOT a measure of your beauty, or your value in his eyes. If he’s WITH you then he’s made his choice.
Attraction can be like hunger… it’s an unconscious feeling. It doesn’t MEAN anything.
He’s NOT shopping around, he’s simply enjoying the scenery.
I explain it like this… I own a new 4-Runner. I love my “Truck.” It’s my most treasured possession. And yet when I pass other new vehicles on the street I will often admire them. This doesn’t mean I want to sell my Truck and buy some other guy’s expensive car… I simply admire the beauty in other people’s things.
Most guys can admire other women without a specific desire to “own and operate.” If that makes sense. He will always find beautiful women attractive. But realize that attraction is a feeling, like pain and hunger. It ISN’T a judgment on you, or these other girls. He’s not comparing either of you. He’s simply admiring.
2) He should be mature enough to control his outward behaviors.
Even if he finds other women attractive he should never behave in such a way that is disrespectful towards you. If you don’t like him looking at girls he should respect that while walking with you.
He should also never bother to tell you how nice these other girls look in appreciation for your sensitivity about the subject.
This is basic polite behavior.
If he IS being rude, let him know that you find it disrespectful and to oogle girls when you’re not around.
I hope this helps!